by Alyssa Degroat

Created on: May 30, 2008

SIMPLE CONVERSATIONS

One very important thing that parents often forget to do, whether it is due to their own daily stress or simply trying too hard in other areas, is to just talk to their teen. By talking to your teenager about your life, their life, everyday life, etc. you are forming a special bond. Communication will become easier the more you talk to them and the more that you show them you really do want to have a relationship with them.

The mere fact that you are asking them how their day was shows that you do care. Seventeen year-old Adam says, "It's the little things, like, despite the shambles her marriage is often in she always finds time to ask me how my day was." Just remember, it is more important to try and fail than to not try at all. Keep trying to talk to your teen!

However, it is important to consider that what you say typically sounds entirely different to a teenager. Take for example a situation where your teen comes in the door from school, tosses down their backpack and heads for their room. You say, "How was school?" They do not hear what you mean, "How was your day? What did you learn about? Meet any new friends," etc. They simply hear a parent casually providing conversation. Some parents become frustrated when their child's response is simply, "Fine." But, one must understand that a teen's mind races over so many things in a day; dating prospects, homework, upcoming tests, football games and other sports events, extracurricular activities, their favorite class, their least favorite class, bullies, best friends, and so on and so forth.

To engage them in a way that shows them you care and want to talk about their day can be a challenge. I strongly suggest trying to enter their territory without infringing on their space. If you can create a situation where it seems like they're getting something out of it, you'll more than likely have better luck. Here are some simple suggestions on how to enter their territory' and make good opportunities to talk.

Ask if you can help with their homework or projects: It seems a little crazy, but a lot of times teens need help but will not ask for it. Plus, it can be a great bonding experience if you work with them on different subjects or piece together big assignments with each other. You might even learn something! If you can, ask them about unfamiliar topics that they're studying. Don't try to overdo this. A simple, "What is that? Can you tell me about it?" will work. Oftentimes teens love to show off

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