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Humor: A message from Mrs. Claus

by Deborah Steinmetz

Created on: May 30, 2008

Santa is the king of children's fantasies... magical, jolly, kind, loving and adoring. He and the elves had talked about nothing for the past 3 weeks other than all of the goodies that he will be delivering to the children, and all of the goodies he will get in return from the children..cakes, cookies, milk and many, many other surprise goodies..

His beautiful wife, Mrs Claus stands in the background, never once ever complaining, seemingly happy in her invisibility to the world, with a bit of a crooked smile on her face, as she waves goodnight and good luck to her dear husband as he takes off on his long journey around the world.

Little does Santa know, that last August, Mrs Claus sent every child on Santa's list a lovely note, and he may just have a few new surprises in store for him this year.

One of my children, showed me that very note, which I shall share with you.

________________________________________

From the desk of Mrs.Santa Claus



My dear little darlings,

Santa's been busy making the toys,
for you little girls and boys,
but Santa needs some help this year
so please lend me your tiny ears.

All these years have taken a toll
on my jolly, darling Santa troll.
he gained 300 pounds last year
'cause some jokers swapped his milk for beer.

The generosity of some little rookies
left 7 course meals, instead of just cookies
he ate and drank, and filled his belly
now St Nicks belly really Is jelly.

The elves developed a clever device
so now Santa doesn't get exercise.
he sits on his bum, driving the sleigh
zaps you your toys, then zaps back the food trays.

Considering my age, I'm still a hot chick
but I can't say much for my pudgy St. nick
so please lay off the booze and food
and leave veggies, bottled water and a little tofu.

I also have a small bone to pick
about all of the hoopla about my St Nick.
He's great, he's jolly, he's full of life
but I do most of the work, surprised? I'm his wife!

Sometimes I get bitter, he gets all the glory
'cause of some silly ancient childhood story
It was all my idea, I'm not just clever, I'm cute
I let him take the credit, cause I can't fit in his suit.

I love him, I do, with all of my heart
and I know why you love the adorable old fart.
who wouldn't love a chubby old guy
with tons of new toys, and reindeer that fly.

I think its time to come off my high horse
and get back to organizing Santa of course,
But next year when you write your list
Don't forget me, and please seal with a kiss!




Love,
Mrs Claus

Learn more about this author, Deborah Steinmetz.
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