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Judgments
We have all heard it before lifetime gems of wisdom parceled out at recess; "everybody's equal", "be kind, respect others", "treat others as you wish to be treated" etc. etc. and one that was so often rehearsed - "never judge a book by it's cover"and its obverse "it what's on the inside that counts", you know it more by intuit than memory. If these are such commanding truisms and the groceries that build our nature, then why are they so hard to put into practice? Largely because the language of the physical is our most powerful tool and often that is our only form of communication. Everyday we (myself included) make hundreds of quick reflexive calculations with nothing more than simple observation as reference; clothing, hygiene, physical structure, hair, body movement or facial expressions all form, in short - discernible appearance. What often happens however is we make stereotypical judgments based on that appearance and never move on; It may break the rules of kindergarten but we make them just the same. We have been subject to both recipient and deliverer of these quick reflexive assessments, some good, some not so. It is said that employers know almost immediately (30 seconds tops) if they feel a potential candidate will fit their needs, leaving many perfectly qualified applicants wondering what went wrong. How often do we "size" someone up either as a potential pal or romantic companion, only to find later how off base we were? And why do we continue making quick responses given the golden touches of wisdom imparted from the playground? Because as often as we are misguided by quick first impressions, we are often correct. For every story where we were wrong there were just as many where our judgment held true.

Most of us make instant decisions based on emotion and then spend countless hours afterward reinforcing by facts. We may fundamentally know this process to be wanting but we have a hard time overcoming. Most of the time we have only a few quick moments of interaction or evaluation time, what we need to guard against is holding opinion as time and facts break down these initial assessments. Many of us will never be able to outlive or change a first impression. That is why employment counselors will emphasize the importance of "looking the part" in that first interview, or dressing to the moment in a formal encounter. This is why we often put on our "Sunday Best" as openers in courtship or companionship.
But is this a healthy arrangement?

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