by Meghan R. Coleman

Created on: May 29, 2008

It is sad to hear when money conquers all in divorce and custody cases. When you get down to the shear facts, and the decision has to made by the courts, the mother is more likely to be granted custody of the kids.

When decisions are made in the best interests of the children, they are usually done with little regards to the actual children themselves. In the best interests of the children, in all reality would be for the parents not to be getting a divorce (Hey, calm down, I am speaking in terms of a perfect world). But because this is not a perfect world, and that option apparently has been decided against, both parents should have equal rights to the custody of their children.

I feel sorry for all the mothers out there that have kids with a man that just doesn't care if he is with his kids or not. I am a lot more sympathetic to the kids, because growing up with out a father is detrimental to their wellbeing. Even though there are exceptions to the rule, mothers are the caregivers and fathers are the discipline-rs, kids need both parents regardless to who has what characteristics.

Because children deserve both, no matter the nature of dispute between the parents, the courts need to start recognizing the father as an equal component in a child's life. Unless the other parent has tried to kill the child, or abused him/her in any way, the child has a right to know and spend time with both parents. Even if one of the parents has abused the child, (barring life-threatening instances and sexual) the child should still have contact with the parent, only physical custody should be not be established. The child will eventually decide on their own what is better, and be grateful for understanding their past, and not have a missing parent complex.

Not only will this help the children, but society as well. Many mothers have adapted to becoming the father/mother model for their children. The father still has the discipline gene embedded into their DNA, while most mothers have to learn it. If the courts would hold back on its urges to grant full custody to the mothers, in turn hopefully more fathers will be in their child's lives, thus resulting in a more disciplined future for our youth. This may sound like a fairy tale ending, but is actually quite attainable down the road. Even though some people may view the fathers' as uncaring to their children because they won't try harder for custody, maybe those people should be in their shoes and see what actually goes on within our current system today.

Fathers need to stand up for their rights more often even though it's challenging, mothers should stand back and look at the whole picture, and the court needs to rethink their biased opinion that mothers will be better parents than fathers.

Learn more about this author, Meghan R. Coleman.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.