3 of 13

Write now Article Tools

It's a well known fact that women are more susceptible to stress and panic attacks than the strong nerved male gender of the species. The undeniable reason for this being, that they are usually the cause of it!
It doesn't matter how good a day you are having,there will always be one of the balled beasties popping their bristled heads into your vibratory space just to cause a bit of friction.

Frequently, when you are least expecting it, and mostly because they enjoy it.
I am not by nature prone to panic attacks but they can be brought on by professionals, and quite quickly at that. Stress is something to be dealt with on a daily basis, but when I'm caught unawares I can be easily led up the garden path.
The best way to bring on the brown bag, blow in and out slowly effect, is by sending a message to my mobile phone at four in the morning saying...

Don't panic!

At four in the morning this isn't something that I'd be thinking of doing. I may be having a dream or I may be having a nightmare. That depends on an awful lot on the previous days events. A night-shift worker may be panicking at that hour. But me? NO!
I much prefer sleeping.

One of the easiest and most effective ways of causing panic is by saying... Don't panic!

What would you do?
The first thing that comes into your head is why?

Why am I not to panic?

Why do you think I should be panicking?

Should I panic?

What am I going to panic about?

Is there anything to panic about?

This is getting silly.
Am I really panicking about not panicking?
Yes, I am!

Only a man would say - Don't panic - Because they know you would!
Then three days later tell you it was the punchline to a joke, but they forgot to send the rest.
Stress! Is when you are still waiting to find out what it matches up to and why it was so funny in the first place.

Stress is being a multi-choring mother, so yes I know, I'm well adapted and can cope with just about any situation.
Stress is going out of business. When you've slaved for fourteen hours a day, non-stop for six years.
Stress is watching somebody else take your business away and not being able to defend yourself.
Stress is struggling to think what you're going to feed the kids on in the early days when there's no money coming in.
Stress is thinking what are you going to feed the kids on now the business has gone.
Stress is... Will someone give me a job?
Stress is getting divorced, and looking after the kids while you work fourteen hours a day to put food on the table and pay the bills.
Stress is never having free time to go and listen to Irish guitar players playing your favorite songs.
Stress is not being able to afford a babysitter.
Stress is thinking.. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
Stress is.. I'm so tired today. Will I wake up in time to get the kids to school?
Stress is watching employees take a holiday. You're still working.
Stress is not having any money.

But I can cope with all of that.
The one thing I can't cope with is... yes you guessed it!
Being told not to panic!
Because I don't panic!
Well alright then it looks as though I do, at least on occasion!

Learn more about this author, LizX.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Satire: Stress?
We want to hear your view. Write now!