The freakish quality about families have to do with the way we keep secrets from each other. That has always been my family. No one tells anyone anything. What happened to the cohesiveness of family? Does it even exist anymore? My family has always been that way and it drives me insane! No wonder I have always felt like I was adopted or something.

The sting of my childhood still rings in my ears and has followed me all through to my adulthood unfortunately. The way I was taught to do math was a horrible experience for me. How would you feel if you were staring at your father from across the dining room table and spouting off multiplication tables as he holds a huge belt with a monstrous buckle attached to it. It was very disturbing.

There I was, in the 4th grade and had to learn my tables. I was given the table 2x5 and I answered 12. But, I knew the answer, it was right in the front of my brain and was burning a hole in my skull. Before I could change my answer, my dad swiped me across the face with the belt and that was that. I was scarred for life. I hated math with all the passion than I could even muster. I mean, what way is that to teach a child math to help them succeed.

I never wanted to turn into a monster like that to my children. I refuse to believe the quote from "The Breakfast Club" about being like our parents which stated that "It's inevitable, it just happens". That kind of treatment is wicked. In order to teach a child anything, one should not through in a side of intimidation.

Now that I am older, I believe that my dad enjoyed using his big voice and belt to scare the stuffing out people. I believe that he brought his frustrations home with him and took it all out on us. I hold no grudes, but I cannot forget either. I never wanted for anything, always did things the hard way to take the pressure off of me for a while. Now that I need to have math skills in order to pass a test, no matter how hard I try I can never seem to pass this Praxis test.

So if you are wondering why math was never strength for you or any subject, maybe you were taught in a way that wasn't fitting. All I know was that it stemmed from my childhood and that is why I am the way I am. Seeing the trught hurts, but it does set you free.

Learn more about this author, Joan Kaigler.
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