by Mandi M.

Created on: May 29, 2008

As a former employee of the grand ol Wal-Mart, I have witnessed some truly remarkable scenarios. I believe I am a better person today for having been there to experience it all firsthand.

Here are my top 3 things to do in a Wal-Mart that you may never have thought of yourself. But I suggest you try them. Some of them are perfectly ingenious and truly demented.

1) Hold an intervention for your friend whose girlfriend you don't like.

Seriously, what better place than a Wal-Mart for 5 guys to surround their buddy, sit him down and say, "I know you thought we came to Wal-Mart to pick up some snacks for the party, but really we need to have a serious discussion about your girlfriend. Dude, she sucks. We never see you anymore man. It's like our friendship is slipping away."
How touching. There's nothing like seeing six guys bare their souls with each other in the chip aisle. I, for one, am so glad they got it all sorted out. I was really worried about what would happen tomorrow at school if they didn't get it cleared up.

2) Have a photo shoot with the creepy McDonald's statue.

Hopefully in your store you have the statue that is posed sitting on the bench. This takes your photographic opportunities to a whole new level. Definitely try to take some lewd pictures. Forget about the fact that there are children trying to eat their happy meals behind you. Just let go and have some fun with that spooky smiling clown. If you get kicked out because of it, even better. Now you can write on your resume that you got kicked out of Wal-Mart for inappropriately touching Ronald McDonald himself.

3) Teach your child how to ride a bike.

Every good parent knows that before you buy your child a bike they should already know how to ride one. I mean, it's common sense. Why would you spend money on something that they don't even know if they like yet? That would be plain silly. So I definitely recommend following in this father's footsteps. Take your child to the bike aisle for a lesson. If they can master the skill of riding in such a short time then it's worth spending all that money at the world's largest discount store. Be sure to award them extra points for every unsuspecting customer that they run over.
Store Standards to the bike aisle with a First Aid kit please.

There are so many more stories that I could tell you. But I don't want to stifle your own creativity. So get out there, be outrageous and enjoy God's greatest gift to retail.WAL-MART.

Learn more about this author, Mandi M..
Click here to send this author comments or questions.