by Sheila Attebury

Created on: May 29, 2008

5 ways to assure that you are passed over for a promotion.

As women in the corporate world, we are always hearing about glass ceilings and how much harder we have to work to get ahead. However, not all of us want to get ahead. For some of us life is more than climbing a ladder. Therefore, after supervising employees in a banking environment for over 15 years, I have come up with some tips that will help you stay at that entry-level position until you are ready to retire.

1. Dress like you are going to a party. Wear sexy, low cut and tight fitting blouses. Make sure there is ample cleavage to attract attention. Likewise with your skirt. Show a little cheek when you bend over, from the waist of course. Fishnet stocking and stilettos are a cliche, but the object is to stand out in the crowd, right?

2. Act like you are at a party. Socializing is most important here. Make sure you "work the room", pausing at each person's desk to catch up on their weekend activities or the latest celebrity news. Office gossip should be your business, starting it and spreading it. Remember to ask everyone how they like your outfit.

3. Have a superiority complex. You know that you are smarter than everyone in the office, including your boss. Take every opportunity to prove this point. Always speak up in meetings, especially if you have nothing relevant to contribute.

4. Always deflect the blame. Never admit fault. If you make a mistake, blame it on a coworker, preferably someone who is on vacation and cannot defend himself. If you are unable to complete and assignment blame your shortcomings on circumstances. Tell your boss that you haven't been given the time, tools, support, etc. needed to do the job properly. If you are given any of these items, make sure there is a coworker around to blame.

5. Finally, bring your personal problems to the office. Call in sick a lot. If you have a male boss, tell him that you are having complications with your menstrual cycle. He will be too embarrassed to ask questions. Since your personal time is so jam packed, use company time and equipment to make your doctor, dentist, hair and waxing appointments (if possible, make the appointment during work hours). Call friends and relatives that you don't have time to call after work or on weekends. Use the company computer to check out on-line dating sites and download photos. Don't forget to check job sites for better opportunities. After all, your current employer is definitely not paying you enough.

If none of these techniques works and you are promoted in spite of your efforts, just remember the Peter Principle. An amazing number of people have been promoted to their level of incompetence. You will be in good company.

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