Being on a ship, one builds a strong bond with one's other shipmates. At sea, we never knew what might be encountered and these were the very people you would entrust with your life. On shore, we never knew what might be encountered and these were the very people you would entrust with your life. It was a true family atmosphere with all the squabbles that goes with family.

Going ashore after weeks at sea was great. That was time from a young man to sow his oats. This time ashore had to be spent showing the women that we were the real' men they fantasized about; and showing the men that we were the real men they wanted to become by being able to drink any given bar dry.

A sailor's reputation on shore precedes them. So I would like to focus a bit about what happens at sea. Where there are no women nor booze to entertain a man. It becomes a bit of a daily grind and we must amuse ourselves.

I loved being at sea. It was an escape from reality without the aid of mind altering substances. We were absolutely untouchable; thousands of miles from any other life form. Yet, there was always the element of danger which kept us alert and proud of what we were doing.

So how does a sailor keep chuckling thousands of miles from the nearest woman or beer?

It's a challenge; but we manage. We played cards, watched a movie on the mess decks at
8 pm and told a lot of sea stories. But obviously, that wasn't enough.

One time, we were doing a long stretch at sea (about 4 weeks). And yes, you do get very restless and bored. On this particular occasion, my buddy and I found a bottle of helium on-board. Helium is the gas used to fill up balloons to make them float- but if inhaled- gives you that Mickey Mouse kind of voice. So we found a big back bag, filled it with helium, then walked around the ship inhaling this helium and speaking like a cartoon character. We were having a great time with it but everyone wanted in on our gag.

We wanted to be the jokers, giving everyone else on-board a laugh, and all of the sudden we couldn't snort our on helium anymore because everyone else wanted "a hit". So we decided to fix their wagon.

My buddy ,Trip, and I worked in the shop which was in charge of (among other things) the sewage system on the ship. We came up with a cunning plan. We put some sewage (yes, human waste) into a black bag. We then filled the bag with air, not helium. We then set out on a journey around the ship with this black

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