by Carol Natoli

Created on: May 29, 2008   Last Updated: June 18, 2008

When your child leaves for college he is a child; he returns home and he is evolving into a young adult. He grows and you will see his maturity advance as the college years continue. By the time graduation comes, he is an adult, the person that he was destined to be.

He (or she) will go through a sudden change, so it seems, and by the time the first, long summer arrives, you will both go through quite an adjustment period! When he first went away, you had to get used to him not being around. Perhaps you even startdc having dinner with the television on, like that famous TV commercial! If you are the type of family to pray before meals, that probably had changed, especially if your child is an only child.

When your son or daughter is gone, you have privacy to argue, or to make up; yet you may wonder if you do not hear from him, is everything okay. Chances are, if there are not phone calls of complaints or loneliness on his or her part, everything is fine! Then your child will come home, probably for about 14 long weeks of summer. You will miss him while he is gone, even if the house is now quiet. When you have a few children and one goes off to college, it is different. When you have a one and only leave, you feel as if you are in retirement. The house or family dynamics is 100% different!

During the summer, the laundry adds up and you have to decide if you want him to do it as he did when he lived away, or if you will give him a break; afterall, when a mom folds a child's clothes and touches his shirt, she smells the memory of childhood, in a nurturing way!

There have to be rules, for if he doesn't do what you want, he is too old to punish. You will probably have to have a discussion (or two or three) as to what you expect. If he is not coming home at night, the solution, to prevent alarm in the middle of the night, is for him to text you; if you should wake up to use the bathroom, you can learn that he is safe without the fear of the house phone ringing! Texting, can be a God-send!

He might sleep until 2 in the afternoon, and you have to decide if this bothers you. You might even see a disaster of clothes on the floor; you might ask him if he is still in high school, with the mess. Do you care? It is his room? Will closing his door make you feel better or will you insist that it is your house and he HAS to keep a clean room? Remember, when he first left, you probably pretended he was safe in his bed, or maybe you closed the door then, all neat and tidy, because

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