There are weird doings afoot this weekend folks. Not weird as in "I swear she told me she was 23 officer," but weird nonetheless. It seems as though I've been invited to, and will be attending, a baby shower this weekend. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing personally against babies or showers. I suppose they both fulfill some sort of need (probably help to keep the common folk in line, and Lord knows I'm all for that). But this one unsettles me for a few reasons. One of them is admittedly pretty minor, the others are truly terrifying.

First off, I am not real happy at having attained an age where my friends actually celebrate being pregnant. I realize that it's just the mortality talking, but I miss those days of my youth when you found out someone was pregnant and kept it quiet until the father was informed. It just reinforced the notion that my generation was in no way, shape or form ready to be parents. I still don't think that we are, but apparently some of my compatriots disagree. That's fine I suppose, after all, it's going to be their kid mounting the water tower with an assault rifle in twenty years not mine. The problem is that if all of these people my age are old enough to be parents than where does that leave me (because frankly, it is all about me after all). Does this mean that yours' truly ought to think about procreating? I think you will all join me in being terrified at that idea coming to pass.

My second problem with this whole baby shower thing is the fact that I, a guy, have been invited at all. Again, don't get me wrong, the people that are holding this little soiree are my best friends and I love them dearly, but I am a guy after all. To put it bluntly (and do I ever put it any other way) guys don't belong at baby showers. The idea of mixing guys and baby showers is wrong on so many levels that I won't even try to list them here. The main problem is that it seems to me as though a line has been crossed here, a line that was drawn a long time ago for a very good reason.

My father has four kids, his friends have all had kids. He has, I am sure, had countless opportunities to attend baby showers. Do you think he has ever attended one? Lord no, the idea of attending a baby shower is simply inconceivable to men of my father's generation, right up there with videotaping the birth (another concept that worries me to no end). My generation on the other hand sees nothing wrong with this, a friend of mine once said that he

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