by Pancho Villa

Created on: May 29, 2008

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Passport - NO SERVICE

Now the signs just read
No shirt
No shoes
No service

I remember when the signs were

No colored
No Mexicans
No dogs
Allowed inside

The racist bigoted town of Farmers Branch Texas has lost a court battle to outlawing the renting of dwellings to undocumented aliens. The local ordinance required all landlords to verify the immigration status of all renters before renting them a place to live.

The Mayor of Farmers Branch is now ready to pass another ordinance to keep foreigners from contaminating their sweet paradise. The Mayor will propose and the City Counsel will pass an ordinance requiring all renters to purchase, from city hall, a license to rent.

It will be called an "Occupancy Certificate to Rent". As of this date the Mayor believes the certificate can be made available to the public for a small user fee of $5.00.

The purpose of the certificate will be to allow city police officers to check the immigration status of the applicant.

In view of these changes in law we herewith advise citizens to follow these simple guide lines when renting property in Farmers Branch. Additionally, we strongly suggest that citizens all over the United States become familiar with these guide lines because if this new law should pass it may well become a requirement all over the United States.

1. Find a property you want to rent.

2. Negotiate terms with landlord

3. DO NOT pay any money for whatever reason.

4. Find city hall and obtain an application for an Occupancy Certificate to Rent.

5. Fill in all blanks on the form, sign and date it before a notary public

6. Gather all documents required to prove your citizenship and eligibility to rent property in the United States.

7. Between the hours of 9:00 am and 3:00 pm Monday through Friday, submit your application to City Hall for review.

8. Wait five - ten day for your application to be approved.

9. If your application for a Certificate of Occupancy to Rent is approved contact the landlord to verify that the property is still available.

10. If the property is no longer available, thank me for inserting item #3 on this list and start with number 1 again.

In keeping with this motif of not providing aid and comfort to anyone from another country we need to further strengthen our law against anyone different than us. Hence we call for the passage of the following laws.

Any person requiring food of any nature (fast food, restaurant, grocery store, etc.) shall be required to present evidence of legal status. This requirement shall be satisfied with a current passport properly endorsed with a travel visa or three forms of identification two of which shall contain a photo. (short version - all eating establishments shall require anyone entering [including children] their facilities to present a passport)

No shirt
No shoes
No service

Will now read:

No shirt
No shoes
No passport
No service

In order to keep our country safe from evildoers and limit their movements within our country, a positive form of identification such as a passport should be required of all persons purchasing from a convenience store.

I hope this clears up what we the citizens of our great nation want. Nothing is too much trouble to keep our country safe from disgusting marauding poor people that want to work and support their families.

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