Today's the last day of a 3-day forced leave that was handed to my by the company that I work for after having gone beyond a specified number of allowable tardiness. For the past few days, I've been doing nothing but waking up an hour or two later than usual, getting some creative writing and Helium articles done, playing video games and finishing up some backlogged work at the post production facility where I work part time. Even though the last few work days have stretched beyond my normal 9-5 (I've been going from 11am-1am), I feel as though I'm not as fatigued as when being in my normal office working environment. It's not that I'm doing less work, as I'm actually doing a whole lot more, but I suppose that the daily grind of my work routine, which involves a 1 and a half hour long commute to work and back in a distant town, has finally taken its toll on me, having been in the same job for a little over 3 years without interruption. And so on the day before I head back to filing and shuffling papers while scurrying about the workplace between cubicles, I thought of ending my leave on a high note by acknowledging that yes, I am in a quarter life crisis, and I've only recently realized it in the past few days!

While epiphanies aren't usually my thing, I do get them at the most unfathomable moments in my life, which is probably why I just recently figured out that I'm in my 20's, unsure about the future, struggling to look for a solution to earn while at the same time enjoy all that life has to offer, and am very VERY tired. Although I've come across articles that mention the Quarter Life Crisis as an entirely mental state, it's rather difficult to accept that after having gone through the pains of puberty, us twentysomethings have to go through something similar but without the security provided by financial aid courtesy of our parents or the day-to-day companionship of peers we grew up with. It's all so daunting and to call it simply overwhelming is an understatement.

Perhaps by acknowledging that I'm one of those who are deeply affected by this unfortunate circumstance, I can begin to really search for ways to get out of it. At the moment, every solution I try to concoct presents itself with another problem waiting at the end. Spiraling out of control while finding methods to deal with dissatisfaction and disgruntled situations is starting to become a distinct possibility as the eternal struggle between doing what you want and doing what you have to do to sustain yourself slowly begins to take center stage, seemingly in a low budget production at the wrong end of Broadway riddled with misfit cast members. As you bring yourself to face what new puzzles life has once again given you despite being tired of playing games, you start to get the idea that somehow you've just got to get past it by looking for people and activities that make everything worth it. But can you do all that knowing that you've got to be up terribly early at 6:00am tomorrow?

Quarter life conflicts are the new adolescent angst!

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