Young Gentleman's Guide to High school Romance.

Part 1: getting started

September. Summer is ending, the birds are starting to fly south, the back to school sales are going . . . wait . . .back to school sales? boo. September is that time in every kid's life when he(ladies, forgive my strictly masculine point of view, but i wouldn't even know where to start with a ladies guide to high school romance)misses being able to sleep until three in the afternoon.

Returning to school isn't all bad though is it? there's the drama, the delicious lunches, and of course the willing staff of teachers who are universally well-liked. wait . . . guess not. but there is one reason to go back, and that's the girls. every young gentleman in high school from the mightiest of jocks to the brainiest of nerds has his eye on some special little filly. now you ask, "Cody, how do we go about getting the attention of these monuments to feminine beauty?" well, have no worries gentlemen, because i am here to answer as best i may.
first and foremost is selecting a target . . .er . . . i mean a suitable lady for your attentions. one should always first take into account physical appearance. it may sound shallow, but relationships based solely on personality tend to turn into "just friends" rather quickly. they don't have to be the most beautiful girl you've ever seen (although you'll more than likely tell them that . . . you'll learn more about compliments in part 2), but they should have an appearance that you can live with seeing staring at you every day or so. after you have affirmed the presence of an appearance you can deal with, you should learn all you can about them. what do they like to eat, what music do they like, etc. you should generally get a conversation started with them and work these into the conversation, as they are common topics for small talk. compare what you learn to your own opinions and feelings, likes and dislikes, and determine if you can live with what they offer. trust me, someone who likes country music, long walks on the beach, and mild foods is not going to get along with the pink haired person with the piercing fetish who listens to death metal and eats habaneros for breakfast.

Part 2: getting their attention

The first step in getting the attention of a girl is to compliment her. always start off small however, as rushing in with a "YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'VE EVER SEEN" has a tendency to get you slapped or laughed at . . .or

• 1
• 2
• 3
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: Back to school tips?
We want to hear your view. Write now!