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Oh, don't even go there! I'm sorry, but this habit of blaming the parents for everything their children do and say is ridiculous. Parents are human; they make mistakes when raising their children. Maybe they spoiled them a little too much. Or maybe they were stricter than other parents. But parents do the best job they know how. And anyone who is a parent knows that a lot of parenting you learn as you go. No two families are exactly alike. Heck, no two children are alike. The problems and issues are different even among children in the same family. One child in a family may have grown up quietly and obediently while his brother or sister got into mischief constantly. And children change as the grow up. The one who was quiet may suddenly change into the little noise maker and visa versa.

I'm sure you've heard people say things like, "Didn't your mother teach you better than that?" or "Did your parents let you get away with that?" We can teach our children to be perfect little angels, yet when we are not present, it is up to them how they behave. Oh, sure, they may know they will get into trouble if they misbehave, but the ultimate decision of how they behave when parents are not around is up to them. Thankfully, most of the time, children do remember their parents' teachings and act suitably.

That is another point to make. When children are young, they are afraid of being disciplined, maybe even spanked or punished by losing some privilege, such as tv. Children generally want to please their parents and just by letting them know that you are disappointed in them will often stop the bad behavior. However, when children get older, especially in the teen years, the fear of discipline fades away. Oh, they are still afraid of being grounded or losing the privilege of the car, but it is not the same kind of fear that a younger child feels.

So, as adults, they are free to act and think as they wish. For the most part, adult
children usually do follow how they were raised. If they were taught to be polite to older people, or open doors for ladies, they will usually continue this. But they don't have to. They are adults. They think for themselves. And once they become adults, they take
responsibility for their own actions and words.

So, the answer is emphatically no, parents are not responsible for how their children act as adults. The only person who can be held responsible for how a person acts is that person himself.

Learn more about this author, Shelia West.
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