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or hateful ideas, he recognizes the mind's need for healthy nourishment. Thus, he advises that no Pastafarian engage with an intellectual enemy on an empty stomach.

6) The Flying Spaghetti Monster also has something to say about frugality: He pleads that Pastafarians refrain from building temples, synagogues, churches, or other buildings of worship in honor of Him. He doesn't want them, and would rather see the money spent on more useful endeavors, like ending poverty, curing disease, and "Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable." Ramen to that!

7) His Noodly Goodness can be brutally honest: He doesn't find most people interesting enough to talk to, and would prefer that people "get over" themselves, rather than profess to hear His voice. He also prefers that human beings focus more on loving one another than on loving Him.

8) The golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," is one that the Flying Spaghetti Monster would like to clarify: only do this if you're not into BDSM and other uncommon practices requiring mutual, overt consent. When consent is attained, however, followers may go to and have fun, especially if they do the smart thing and use a condom. He intends sex to feel great - otherwise He would have "added spikes or something."

As any reader can tell, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is loving, kind, and generous. He keeps to himself about most problems, leaving humans to figure them out - and helps them by refraining from scaring them out of their wits with threats of torture, punishment, or conditional forgiveness.

Learn more about this author, Currie Jean.
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