by The Idea Girl

Created on: May 28, 2008   Last Updated: June 09, 2008

I was very close to both of my parents. We were the best of friends. We always saw each other everyday. For a couple of years, I lived about five houses down from theirs. I had gotten divorced and was sharing a basement apartment with two roommates.

I went over every day to get a hug from my Dad. Dad loved to cook. Problem was, there was only the two of them. He usually cooked enough to feed an army and then some. Whenever Dad made a big pot of spaghetti with his homemade sauce, he would invite all of us over for dinner. We would also be given left-overs to last us for the next few days.

I worked nearby so I would always stop by my parents house on my way to work. Sometimes I would get to eat the left-overs in the fridge. Or I would drop off something for them to eat. We shared our groceries and it worked out well. A few years later, I moved away.

I had been busy with my job and boyfriend at the time, and I hadn't seen much of my parents. I didn't have a car and I lived out of town. One night I got a phone call from my Mom, something had happened to Dad. I met her at the hospital. Dad was in a coma for a week, then he passed away.

Within a few months, Mom had to move. She actually ended up living in the apartment that they had lived in before for about ten years. Only this time, she was alone.

I felt lost without my Father. I had read a book about making a healing garden. So I did. I got a stone that said, Dad's Garden on it. I created a memorial of him in my home. Just having that garden to nurture and love was what I needed.

I read books about growing a garden indoors. I even tried different experiments with music. If I played rock n roll at night, the plants would lean away from the CD player. If I played classical music all night, the plants would be leaning towards the CD player in the morning.

The most interesting thing was when I listened to meditation music. I had been studying Buddhism and meditation. I wanted to find a way to center and balance my soul.

Dad had always been the rock in my life. His daily hugs had given me the reassurance of being loved. I missed that so much. I felt empty and off center. I needed something to make me feel better inside. Learning to meditate was the best thing in the world for me.

I learned to be quiet and listen to my intuition better. I began to feel closer to nature. I began to open up to the people in my life. The fear of losing a loved one can be so painful. It's like when Dad passed away. I felt that a part of my heart

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