by Nicholas Stitt

Created on: May 28, 2008

Having played online multiplayer for many moons, I'm no stranger to the constant scuffle amongst newbs and veterans. As many of us follow real life side quests to help humanity get along more peacefully, it pays to start somewhere close to home; the virtual game room.

Using tried and true tips for maintaining real life friendships, each of the following netiquette skills will boost your game, boost your team's game, and build lasting relationships that can rocket your squad to long term victory.

In these examples, correlate the actions of the seasoned wargame griefer to the griefed upon newbie with a simple 1-A, 2-B, 3-C, and so-on system.

1. The Internet is Serious Business-to you.

Gamers who play hard and often play only to win and every loss is a poison scourge upon their record. So when a newbie hops on the server and isn't pulling all the weight they could, words can quickly fly. After all, this guy is holding a spot in your starring lineup, and if he's going to take a server slot instead of my normal right hand rushing coverage, he'd better play exactly as I will him to-or I'll kick him back to games more his competitive style, like Wii Bowling. Who the hell does this guy think he is? Oh my-why is he sniping from there? Oh you worthless piece of trash! He was right in front of you and you missed! OH. MY. HOLY! YOU LET THEM GET THE FLAG! You are the reason we lost this match! Vote to kick this guy! Kick him!

Chill.

The first reason newbies and seasoned warriors rarely get along is the rigor some training process. Even if you never spawned as embarrassingly awful as that guy whose username is still "Player" and insists on only using melee attacks because it "increases team morale," reduce the shouting and educate the guy with a little sugar and honey. Suggest a class for him to play or give him an easy position or task; guard the hallway, sit in the relatively safe sniper tower, or build a defensive perimeter. (Sneaky hint; new players make excellent scouts into enemy territory.) After a few rounds, you'll certainly pick up on each other's strong points, and soon that new player isn't so new anymore. He won't be pro overnight, but with your encouragement and direction, you'll both be one step closer to victory-after all, that new guy is here to win alongside you. And repeat victories at a great leader's hand make tender feet very happy.

A. The Internet is Serious Business-to them.

Newbie players in team games can quickly find themselves knee-deep in a jar of

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