by S. Bates

Created on: May 28, 2008

I can't stand it any longer; I've held it in for 40+ years. Why? I respected my friend and did not want to embarrass her. But now, I think it has been long enough, and since I'm not going to tell her name, my respect takes second seat to the humor I've just got to let out!

My best friend lived only 4 houses down from my house. Needless to say, if you saw one of us the other was close by. We did every thing we possibly could together. This is how it had been since the fifth grade and now we were in the eighth grade. We had all our school classes together, including Home Ec. If you are not familiar with that class, it was basically learning how to cook, sew, anything related to taking care of yourself and a family. Like I said, that's been 40+ years ago.

She and I were in Home Ec class one day and every one was working on a sewing project. Ours' happened to be making a simple A-line, sleeveless dress. We had bought our own patterns and material. At this point we had to be sure the pattern we had was the correct size. Ms. Joy, our teacher, would take a measuring tape and measure each one through the bust, which I didn't have to worry about at that time, and then another measurement around our hips. Now I had my fair share of hips at that age, but my friend had me beat by a little more. After Ms. Joy had finished measuring my best friend, she saw that her pattern wasn't going to be quite big enough. Instead of having to drive 10 miles back to town and buying a bigger pattern, Ms. Joy told my friend to bring some tissue paper the next day and she would show her how to let out' her pattern. No problem, right?

During Home Ec class the next day, we were getting our patterns, pins, material, and sewing equipment out to start cutting out the material. I heard Ms. Joy ask my friend to bring her pattern, tissue paper and material to lay out so she could show her what needed to be done. Not wanting to be too nosy when I heard Ms. Joy giggle a little, I just glanced toward my friend. The teacher was standing there by her with a BIG smile on her face and giggles coming from her throat, while my friend stood there with about a two foot long piece of toilet paper, or tissue, in her hand. I quickly put 2 and 2 together and burst in to uncontrollable laughter; which brought the whole class around and laughing as hard as I was. There stood my friend with a dumbfounded look on her face and still holding the toilet tissue. She had thought Ms. Joy meant toilet tissue, as in a roll, instead of the thin tissue wrapping paper, she had requested.

I tried not to laugh long as I could tell it really took a toll on my friend. Being of fair complexion with blond hair, her face and neck were about four shades of red which lasted the rest of Home Ec class. She made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone, and I never told a soul at school. But, without calling a name, I just had to tell my mother and a very few others through my lifetime. And I think enough years have passed to tell a few more people, besides, I haven't told anyone a name. Needless to say, she has remembered the difference between toilet tissue and tissue paper.

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