THE BLACK HOLE

Picture it: one 6-year old girl, an out-house, a frisky cow, and a beautiful summer day almost at end, the sun going down on her grandmother's country home

That 6-year old girl was me and the day I fell into that black hole is a day I will remember vividly for the rest of my life. Here's what happened.

I spent a lot of my early childhood with my grandmother, whom everybody referred to as "Minnie Ma." She was a fantastic southern cook and a meticulous housekeeper. Her house was always so spic-and-span clean that you really could eat right off her floors.

It was the summer of 1959 and I was staying with my grandmother in her country home in a small farming town in North Carolina. We had electricity, of course, but no running water in the home. I remember having to step outside the back door and use the water pump to get drinking water; that's still the best water I've ever tasted. The grandchildren all took their baths outside in barrels, and I was glad that I usually got to be the first one in so that I didn't have to jump into someone else's dirty, used water.

We also had to use an out-house for, well, you know what for, right? Now, to a 6-year old, this out-house seemed absolutely huge. It was a two-seater, each with about a four-foot drop. There were a few holes drilled into the side of it, and I could see the back door to my grandmother's house while I was doing my business.

The day I fell into the black hole was not much different from any other day on my grandmother's small farm. It was dusk, with only about fifteen minutes of daylight remaining, when I had to make a trip to the out-house. I noticed that it was almost dark outside and really wanted someone to go with me, but I also wanted to show everyone that I was grown up enough to go alone that I wasn't afraid after all, I was the oldest grandchild. That was my first mistake.

I trotted on out to the facilities, closed the door behind me, and began my climb up to the seat on the right. I still remember the splinters I got in my knees trying to maneuver myself onto the seat without any assistance. It seemed like it took forever, but I finally made it; I felt like Rocky Balboa when he raced up all those steps. I pulled down my panties and positioned myself over the hole. When you're only six, that hole is truly a very LARGE hole, so I positioned my hands on each side of it to keep myself propped up, and proceeded to do my thing.

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