1991 was the auspicious year in my life when my parents fulfilled their wish to take their only daughter for the Holy pilgrimage of Hajj. We traveled from Qatar on land in a bus with a group of pilgrims from different parts of the world . We had our own group of 4 families , but there was not any body of my age , although there were two little boys of 4 years with us .
Apprehensive, I was , wondering about reciting wrong prayers at the particular times, little unsure about the whole procedures of Hajj. But my mom, reassured me, that they are responsible for me, and would make sure I do all the prayers and rituals with them. I remember a purple color umbrella ,given as a compliment to all of us by our group leader, with the idea of standing out in crowd if we were lost.
Those 25 days proved to give me 25 years worth of lessons in life. The journey in the bus itself was very spiritual , stopping in the middle of the desert for prayers , taking breaks at little villages for food, sleeping on the tarmac at a petrol bunk, and simply gazing at the endless desert knowing what my eyes would eventually see. It took us 2 days and 2 nights to reach The city of Ta-if , where we had our Ihram ( make conscious intention of Hajj ). Till that day, I have always had my shower or bath in warm water. Here I was , standing under ice cold water , thinking " Oh Allah , hope this doesn't trigger my asthma attack". Such was the desire in my heart to circumvent the Holy Kaaba, that my heart and mind had an absolute control on my body and its elements. I was fit as a fiddle , and by the time we reached the City of Mecca, I was clutching ever so tightly to my book of Prayers., reciting " Labaikka Allah humma Labbaik ..
"Here I am O Lord, here I am, Oh Allah, here I am. Here I am. You have no partner. Here I am. Surely all praise, grace and dominion is yours, and you have no partner."
As I walked in to the Holy mosque , my eyes were preparing themselves to behold the sight, and my heart was beating fasting than ever. Here I was , standing in sight of the First Place of worship ever to be built , the Unifying Factor in Islam , just a hollow structure made of bricks, covered with gold embroidered black cloth ..the Holy Kaaba.
The feeling that went in through my whole body is beyond any words my little mind can come up with. It is the feeling of a last tiny drop of water as it finally reaches the its destiny the ocean, it is simple feeling of "Iam home". I donot know what made me cry , but I was crying and so was my mom.
The mosque was practically our home for the rest of the days , we just returned to our accommodation to freshen up, and to eat something and sleep. No time was wasted in futile talks or arguments , every ounce of our energy was spent in worship and helping others. There were lots of people from all corners of the globe, different colored ,spoke various languages, rich and poor , old and young. But regardless of where we came from , we all had One Book in our hands and one intention in our minds.
Me and mom had our special places in the mosque where my dad could find us if one of us got lost, but the there was such discipline even in the crowd, that we just merged with the systematic flow of rest of the drops of water'.
The day of Arafa, is the most most important day of Hajj, when all the pilgrims stand on the mount of Arafat , and ask for forgiveness for all their sins and mistakes .Before the sun sets we make sure to spend some time calling on Allah. Make sure to ask Him for all you have in your heart. This is a day when Allah rejects no prayers. Ask Him for everything, everything, everything. Even those prayers you feel you don't deserve, those prayers you feel are impossible. Remember you are asking The Generous One, the One Who is Capable of All, the One who simply says to a thing "Be!" and it will be.
I remember the prayers , and I remember the extreme heat in our tent. There was a lady who was complaining about the heat to an extend that , subconsciously her mind had forgotten, where she was and what she was doing. I remember my mom, who wet a fluffy face towel in our ice cold water and went over to her and softly held her face in the towel. In a split second, the lady realized , what she should be doing instead. Such was the spirit of faith, that we were living every second as if that was our last.
After the days of Hajj , we paid our visit to the City of Medina, the city of my prophet.
We visited the cave of Hira , where the prophet received his first revelation, along with all the other important sites , retracing the path of the Prophet.
After all these 18 years , I can still recall how I felt , for that was the time in my life when I have obediently kept the diary. Even now when ever I pray my obligatory prayers I can imagine I'm standing in front of the Kaaba. (May Allah bless my parents for that)
I'm looking forward to the day when I can visit the Holy Kaaba again , this time with my husband and my children, instilling in them the same passion and faith my parents had, in me.