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Relax. Bonding with your child is a lifelong journey full of moments, days and years. The birthing process is filled with so much emotion, personal change and surrounding elements that a little time is needed to "let the dust settle". As precious as those first moments are, when you look upon the face of your newborn and hold them tenderly in your arms, this is only the very beginning of something deep and enduring that will develop as time goes by.

Some people "fall in love" with their babies immediately and some take a little time to adjust. This likely has more to do with personality than it does with anything else. If it takes you awhile to share your life with new people in general, it may take you a little time to emotionally bond with this child who came from within your body, but is a person all on his or her own. This does not indicate that you will be an emotionally distant parent; it may simply be the way you are geared. If you easily enter into new situations and embrace them with an outgoing enthusiasm, you may hold this child in your arms and heart in an instant. This does not mean that you will always have warm, fuzzy feelings about your child; it may simply be the way you are geared.

Enjoy this precious time with your newborn without the pressure of over-thinking your emotions. Relax and do it your way, even with all of the stories you have heard about other people's experiences and the well-meaning advice you have been given. There is nothing in this world more natural than childbirth and the instinctive bond between parents and children. Hospitals are not "natural environments", though they are full of people who can help ensure that you get off to a healthy start with your child. If you give birth in a hospital, try to find moments with your baby when you can take your mind off of the the necessary activity around you. If you give birth at home, find moments to be alone, one on one, in a quiet place that you enjoy.

We live in a fast-paced society and we have learned to desire and expect instantaneous results. Bonding takes time. Healthy relationships with people can be compared to a well-tended garden, rich with rhythm, respect, nurture, growth and "produce". Your newborn has all of the time in the world. He/she does not have expectations and testimonies of the experiences of others. It is you and your child. Lean back, breathe in the moments, bask in the newness of life and the bonding will happen all on its own.

Learn more about this author, Elizabeth Rogers.
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