My sister will be getting married on June 7, 2008 and I'm extremely happy for her. She is only 19 years old and I worry that she is too young to handle everything that comes along with getting married and with being married. Almost everyone that hears that she is getting married either thinks that she is just getting married to have sex or because she pregnant or thinks that she is just too young to even be considering getting married. This should be one of the happiest times in her life. Instead she doesn't want to tell people that she is getting married. She cries when someone says something negative in anyway, she is always on the defense and her fiance want to go out and fight anyone that makes her cry no matter the consequences.

On top of all the speculation, your mom seems to have turned the wedding into what she wants rather than what my sister and her fiance want. Our mom has ordered favors that my sister think are stupid, she has taken over the menu, how the reception set-up will be and what music will be played. I have tried to talk to our mom and she gets so upset that the starts crying and leaves the house. She does the same thing if my sister even begins to object to something that concerns the wedding. How does one go about trying to help smooth out a tense situation without bring someone to tears? Also how does one go about expressing concern about their worries over their siblings future happenings without causing that sibling to become extremely angry at you?

My answer to my situation is to do nothing. I help out where I am needed. I have planned a bridal shower and bachelorette party and helped my sister move into a small townhouse apartment. I defend my sister and her decision when it needs to be defended. I don't know how to express my concern or how to help my sister out when she gets overwhelmed at what our mother is planning that she doesn't like. I don't know what to say that might help her see why people think that she is too young, to understand where they are coming from without upsetting her (although that doesn't always work). I'm just trying to be a good sister/daughter/bridesmaid and praying that everything turns out the way my sister would like it to be.

I want my sister to enjoy her wedding day without her having to see or deal with something that our mom wanted, but she didn't. I want other people to keep their opinions to themselves and do nothing to take away from her happiness. I hope that our mom is will keep in mind that this is my sister's wedding and it's important for my sister to have what she wants and not what our mom thinks she should want. I hope that no one upsets or spoils my sister's wedding day. I wish that I could express my concerns without causing my sister to cry, but I don't know how.

But most of all, I hope that my sister has a wonderful, love-filled, happy, last marriage. Here's wishing the best in all you endeavors and a life filled with love and happiness.

Learn more about this author, Samantha Minter.
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