by Max White

Created on: May 28, 2008   Last Updated: April 25, 2012

There are many different types of mentoring programs. I'll speak from my experience and acknowledge there may be some programs where race is important. Our local mentoring program does not match mentors and children based on race and I'm very grateful for that.

I met Jeffrey in the fall of his 6th grade year. It was a first for both of us. My employer was sponsoring a mentoring program and I was eager to get involved. I hoped to be matched with a boy as that is what I'm most comfortable with, having two at home. My wish was granted and I met a very nice young man who has been a joy to get to know over the school year.

Jeffrey's race is different from mine, but that doesn't have any impact on our relationship. We both enjoy sports, we talk about school and family, and play games together. We don't have in-depth conversations about saving the world, but I would never expect that from an eleven year old. I can't imagine how being the same race would make the mentoring experience any better than it is.

The bigger issue is the difference in our economic status. Jeffrey is growing up in low income housing. He doesn't get to travel very much and a big day out is visiting his cousin who lives on the other side of town. Going without the extras at home makes him appreciate the little things at school all that much more. He enjoys the field trips and the special programs that they offer.

During our orientation program, the principal of the school warned us to call before we came for our mentoring session because the children chosen for the program had a high number of school absences. They also told us that the kids could be rude, rough around the edges and difficult to get to know. Maybe I got lucky or maybe it's a success of the program, but Jeffrey has never been absent on one of our mentoring days. He is always polite and willing to participate in whatever activity I have planned for the day. He isn't extremely talkative but I think that's pretty normal for the age.

We have strict guidelines about bringing the children gifts as we don't want the other kids in the school to feel left out. In light of that, I try to find little things that I can do to brighten Jeffrey's day. The best way is to bring him lunch from a fast food restaurant. He is always so appreciative and I love seeing the smile on his face.

If I could change one thing about our mentoring program, it would be the amount of time that I get to see Jeffrey. I see him about once every six school days for a forty-five minute visit. Just enough time to eat lunch and play a quick game. It would be nice to have enough time to go outside and kick a ball around. I'll hope for those changes in the future.

Our program is about making a connection with the child. To listen and provide guidance as needed. To put a smile on the child's face and have a little bit of fun. Mostly to let him know that he's special and that someone cares about him. I feel I've been successful in meeting those goals. I'm thankful that our differences in race have not interfered with building a relationship. We all have a gift to share with one another, even if it's just a smile, and race should never play a part in deciding if you'll share that gift.

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