by Trent Lorcher

Created on: May 28, 2008   Last Updated: December 20, 2008

Nobody loves anthropomorphic animals, space aliens, and flying dogs more than I do, but sometimes I prefer to read a book to my kids about real life:

WHEN THE TV BROKE, by Harriet Zeifert

What do you do when the unthinkable happens? Harriet Zeifert addresses this very issue through her protagonist Jeffrey, who watched TV every day of the week. On Saturday the TV broke. What was Jeffrey to do? He read. He played. He painted. He discovered a cure for cancer. OK, he didn't discover a cure for cancer, but imagine if the five hours of TV the average teenager spent watching TV per day was utilized more effectively? Finally, the TV was fixed, but Jeffrey no longer wanted to watch it. I'll be sure to read this to my family every day the month before analog TVs are no longer able to receive broadcast signals due to digital conversion. There's no way I'm footing the bill for a new television set unless the Browns are in the Super Bowl.

TAKE MY PICTURE by Sanford Hoffman

Remember when you actually had to wait a week or two to get your pictures developed? I remember when Polaroid cameras first came out. You could actually view them in less than 5 minutes (4 minutes and 59 seconds if you waved them back and forth furiously and blew on them like my mom did). Now, it takes less than 1/38 of a second for my two toddlers to immediately run over and beg for a peak at the new digital photo. Instead of fighting this annoying behavior, I decided to buy a book about taking pictures and teach my kids how to read.

This delightful, yet mischievous story takes place in a zoo. The protagonist (can I refer to the main character in a children's book as a protagonist or does it sound pretentious?) is tired of his sister taking pictures of all the animals, so he runs to the monkey cage, jumps up and down, and yells, "Take a picture of me!" Now that I've looked at this book a little more closely, it kind of promotes unruly behavior, doesn't it? Of course, if I'm ignoring my children at the expense of some filthy zoo animals, maybe I need a reality check, huh? So if you're headed to the zoo in the near future, you might want to make sure your kids don't get a hold of this book; otherwise, it's an entertaining and educational read on picture-taking.

WALTER THE FARTING DOG: TROUBLE AT THE YARD SALE, by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray

How do kids know farts are funny? I think we can all agree that farts are hilarious, but what about farting dogs? I find absolutely nothing humorous about farting

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