There are four kinds of people who fall asleep in church. One of them doesn't wake up. The other three we will call Sermon Sleepers.

Falling asleep in church is as old of a malady as not applying the preacher's message. But how parishioners attempt to veil their exhaustion during services makes for some humorous comparisons.

Let me take you to the First Baptist Church in Mulberry, Arkansas, the largest of several congregations in the small city of about 1,400 people. The church, built in 1890, is constructed of dark red bricks laid perfectly one on top another by volunteer Christian masons of long ago.

On the church property are two large buildings - the old sanctuary with its myriad of Sunday School rooms, and the new sanctuary, built in the 1950s to accommodate a growing membership. The new sanctuary is quite regal with its arched ceiling painted a glittery beige, interrupted by heavy oak beams reminiscent of the cross. Suspended from these beams are a dozen cylindrical chandeliers, their colorful stained glass panels separated by thin pine slabs.

Rows of pews are arranged in standard domino fashion with an aisle for converts splitting the two sides. Each pew is lined with a thick cushions of orange velvet.
High above the aqua baptistry behind the choir seats, a magnificent stained glass window beckons to the world outside and warms the congregation within, its kaleidoscope of colors nestled around a wooden cross to honor the beloved symbol of redemption.

Five hundred people are logged onto the rolls of the Sunday School roster, but only on Easter and Christmas do many of them make an appearance. The more faithful members tally only about two hundred.

Not everyone is encouraged to stay in the sanctuary during preaching services. Young children are provided a nursery where they can cry, fuss or coo to their heart's content. Early elementary-aged kids are invited to enjoy the education and fun of children's church, but once they reach the fourth grade, they are expected to stay with the adults for the preaching service.

The members' social standing and income brackets vary widely, but most of that difference is supposed to be left outside the doors of the church. Extravagant clothing, jewelry and hairstyles clash against jeans, tennis shoes and ponytails, but all yearn for the faceless God found in the scripture of King James.

Another thing the congregation has in common is how busy they are through the week. By the time they arrive

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