by Cindere11a

Created on: May 27, 2008   Last Updated: May 28, 2008

Oh-h-h, yeah. It's just you and me now, I sighed deliciously, while dimming the lights and settling down into my comfy black suede sofa with a cold glass of Chardonnay. It's been a long day and I'm frustrated when I can't give you my full attention, so let's cut-to-the chase. I'll turn you on and then you can make me feel real good.

Totally relaxed and in the mood, I held my breath as I pulled in closer to get a better look. Ah ha!, I snorted. Just as I thought. I've waited all day to be alone with you, and I'm welcomed home with 2, count them, 2 email messages in my In-Box. That's the best you can do?

Gad. I need to get a life. My friends are dating, going to parties and having fun, and I'm sitting at home, alone, talking to my computer, Charlie. So, Charles (he knows he's in trouble when I call him, Charles), let's see what pitiful diatribe you have for me tonight...

'Hi love, it's Paulo!" the Subject line read. Hmm. Do I know a Paolo?, I wondered. If not, with a name like P-a-o-l-o, I drooled, he sure sounds like someone I would want to know. Well, only one way to find out...

Right 'click' & open -

"Hi there. Are you plagued by irregular bowel movements? Well, do I have good news for you..."

Grrr. Paulo my arse. Why do I always fall for stupid spam emails?, I complained, immediately hitting the Delete Button.

"Well, my dear", cajoled my alter-ego, Sybil. Could it be that you're one lonely, desperate, old woman? Hmm-mm?"

Oh, shut up! I'm not lonely, I argued. Maybe a little desperate but NOT lonely and not old...yet!

One more email left....give it your best shot, Charlie.

Subject: "You're invited to..."

Blech. It's probably another spam email giving me one more chance to order the amazing poop pills at an even greater discounted rate. Oh well, what the heck....

'Click' and open -

Taking a big sip of my wine, I almost choked as I read the beginning of the email;

"As a special member of PerfectMatch.com, you are cordially invited to be a guest

on ..."

Wait! Hold the phone! Did I just read that correctly? Let's read that again...

"Dear...blah, blah...as a member of yada, yada, yada, you're invited to be a special guest on....Oh, Charlie!, I exclaimed. I don't believe it! Guess what? I've been invited to be on the Dr. Phil Show!"

The invitation went on to say that I had been selected along with several other PerfectMatch.com members to appear on a very special Dr. Phil Valentine's Day Show. The focus, of course, would be Internet dating and the email guaranteed to hook us up,

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