by Alexa J.K.

Created on: May 27, 2008

Two blondes were walking down a farm road when they see another blonde trying to row a boat in a wheat field. The first blonde says, "You know, it's blonde's like that, that give us a bad name!" The other blonde replies, "Yeah! If I could swim out there, I'd punch her out!"

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this tv," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair brown and headed back to the salesman, "I would like to buy this tv." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." he replied. "Darn, he recognized me." she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes and big sunglasses. She waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this tv." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." he replied. Frustrated she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave." he replied.

A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advise. His father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She did and said, "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!" With that, she flipped him her panties and said, "Here, try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right! and you won't until your attitude changes!"

A blonde is going 100/mph on a 60/mph road. She's stopped by a blonde female police officer who asks her for her license. The blonde in the car asks, "What's that?" and the officer replies, "It's rectangular and has a picture of you." The blonde looks through her purse and finds a rectangular mirror, which she shows to the officer. The officer looks in the mirror and says, "Oh, sorry! I didn't know you were a cop!"

A guy is going to see his grandmother and his friend decides to tag along. When they arrive, grandma is preparing some drinks and snacks and the guy goes to help her out. His friend makes himself comfortable in the living room and sees a bowl of peanuts. While he waits, he ends up eating them all. When his friend comes back with grandma, he stands up and says, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I ate all your peanuts." Grandma replies, "That's ok! Ever since I lost my teeth I can only suck off the chocolate!"

A blonde is walking down the street when a car pulls up next to her. The man in the car asks, "What do you have in the bag?" The blonde replied, "Chickens!" The man thinks for a moment and says, "If I can guess how many you have, can I have one?" The blonde thinks it sounds fair and replies, "Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess I'll give you both of them!"

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