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Satire: So you want to be a dictator

by Jael Ravalyn

Created on: May 27, 2008

Everyone wants to change the world, or so they say. But, I think everyone wants to run the world. From every individual's perspective they have the best take on how to make the world better...at least better for the person running the world. Of course it is difficult to move from every day citizen of a great, big world to the ultimate world Ruler. However, if you are serious about taking on this challenge, I would like to point out the essential mixture for a successful fascist: fear-inspiring power spiked with an incredible case of Narcissism.

You got to start somewhere. How about the first facet: inspiring fear? I propose getting a Funny Hat to inspire fear. It may sound counter-intuitive that a weird hat would inspire fear instead of laughter consider:

THE FUNNY HAT EFFECT
Kings that wear their bling on spiky hats called crowns. With those sparkly pre-cursors to the neon sign they run countries.

The Pope and his puffy hat that should be visible from space. Nobody is laughing at him-no, rather they are reverently hoping for his blessing.

Napoleon and a hat that looked like a toddler's bath boat toy.

The KKK certainly inspire fear even though they are a pack of people dressed as pointy headed ghosts. And, yet, the fear...

Even imagined conquerors from sapce are often portrayed with elaborate head dresses trouncing through the streets among the frightened mass of mere humans.

Now, this isn't a hard and fast rule. There are exceptions to the funny hat. Fearsome persons may take a different approach to the funny side of fear invoking. Hitler and his mustache, for instance. Lex Luthor and his shiny bald head-fictional but it freaked out the Superman fans. Santa Claus inspires obedience and good behavior in children with his red frumpy hat, but also with the poofy white beard. Facial hair or the lack thereof can be a stand-in for or an accompaniment to the funny hat. Just look at the uni-bomber.

I know, I know, none of these examples were rulers of the world, per se. But if you are going to start somewhere with your climb to the top, I'd suggest constructing something outlandish to wear atop your head unabashedly in public while spreading your propaganda or doing something interesting with hair on you head, over your lip, or on your chin. Wear the look confidently and expect it's awe-inspiring visage to carved with care on the statutes of you in your future.

Learn more about this author, Jael Ravalyn.
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