by Khristeena Lute

Created on: May 27, 2008   Last Updated: May 28, 2008

In today's world, increasing numbers of parents must work in order to support the family. Many children of various ages can suffer from separation anxiety, the anxiety when separated fro the child's primary caregiver. But any age child can experience separation anxiety, not just those little ones. There are many things a parent can do to ease that feeling of abandonment or fear a child may feel when Mommy or Daddy is not there to comfort them.

School or Day Care Tips:
If it's allowed by the establishment, allow your child to bring a little something from home to comfort him or her. A stuffed animal, a blankie, or favorite toy can do wonders! You can also give the child a small, plastic picture frame with a picture of both of you together to carry along.
You may want to make arrangements to gradually ease the child into the new setting. For example, plan to stay at the day care center all day with your child. Not only will your child feel comforted by having you near, but you may find your own comfort level rising while working side by side with the teachers and staff. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable your little one will be from picking up on your vibes and mood. You can transition and slowly ease yourself out by taking breaks and stepping out for short periods of time and slowly increasing that several hours. Once your child is sure that you will return, things will become much easier.
Keep the lines of communication open- not just to your child, but to his or her teachers and caregivers. Let them know the situation and willing to listen to suggestions from them and allow them to help make the transition as easy as possible.
Little things can really add up- hiding notes in your child's lunch box or pockets will bring an added smile when they're discovered. Even just slipping in a picture if your little one is too young to read will help- and it will most likely be shown to every soul in the room!

Now, there are other things a parent can do to help with the ease of one parent being gone for a significant amount of time. In the case of military deployments or extended business or personal separations, young children may find it especially difficult to stay connected to the other parent. As a military wife and a mother to a 14 month toddler, I find we fit into this category as she suffered extreme separation anxiety and still does, even 5 months into our deployment.
Parental Absence Tips:
Make sure your child has access to the other parent. Have pictures readily available throughout the house. For infants or toddlers, you can even laminate pictures and hand them over without fear of them being destroyed immediately.
Create a DVD before the parent leaves. Mom or Dad can simply talk to the child, or read them a bedtime story. Have several of these ready to go, and you'll find story time to be a special treat for everyone. Even if those tiny tots can't sit still for a whole reading, let the video play- sometimes just hearing Mom or Dad's voice can make them feel more secure.
Activities to do together: Write letters, make scrapbooks or picture quilts, make Flat Daddies or Flat Mommies, etc.

Reassure your child that you love them and make every effort that you can to remain a part of everything they do.

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