Fitting family in the formula of education, career, self, and goals. When I accepted my husband's marriage proposal we had goals of successfully obtaining grad school degrees and obtaining the career of choice, living in a wonderful area where we could settle and...oops, once the "I do's" were said it would be a matter of months and we would be expecting a baby. At which time I felt that my dreams of a great career were vanished with frustrations of wanting college success in a competitive University and exhaustion from a no end job. Between the two I chose to flip a quarter, weigh my options, and decide where my best opportunity stood.

I quit the job and continued the fast track of grad school while I was pregnant. There was nothing easy about the fatigue and feeling disgusted that I would not be working as I taught myself to be independent previously. Getting over the incredible feeling of failure that I would not have endless hours to volunteer and participate in internships because I would have the innate feeling of responsibility once my child was born. Culturally I believed that I should raise my own children and as my great aunt said, "women that go to work do so in order to get away from their kids, won't go without and would rather a stranger take care of them." With the nagging feeling self worth I continued with nothing and scraping in order to raise my own, watching others enjoy family vacations to Disney World knowing I would be going further in the hole financially over an education investment.

I am now working toward a second Masters degree and feel pretty good about the time I have spent with my children and the affects being with them has created. I now look at the whole picture in seeing families interact with mom and dad on the fast track and enjoying Disney World and know that the love and guidance I have given my kids will be with them for a life time, not to mention the closeness we share. I will not lie, it is very trying at times to want with consumption being the ultimate determinate of success in the American culture I finding myself wanting to gain material items and just get away from the kids. Usually those thoughts rise out of listening to others and selfish behaviors.

My kids have been a great part of my education with being biology projects to understanding interaction. They have also attended college more than most adults, they are used to the environment via campus and Internet. They watch me study and engage in conversations beyond their age understanding concepts of theory, methods, and techniques. My education is giving them an upper hand in being able to determine what they will become as adults with have a solid idea or at least an informed idea of what they want to do and how to obtain it. Many people believe that college is the turn-key to great success, however after ten years of higher education my kids know that is an element not the answer and certainly not a career guarantee. They know that whatever they do, to do it well.

Altogether college and kids have been a full time job that one could not appreciate or understand unless they have experienced it first hand. I have take both campus courses and on-line with both having different but equal obstacles in raising children while attending. There is nothing easy about the process, however it has been enriching for my family and I would recommend self fulfillment through education to any parent and take the opportunity to share it with their kids.

Learn more about this author, Gail Marsh.
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