by Gail Marsh

Created on: May 27, 2008

Getting children to participate in chores can be a difficult task for many parents, however there are ways to raise a child to participate with taking care of business that doesn't require training sessions.

Less the stickers, charts, award systems, and bribery there is a way to teach little Johnny to be responsible without joining the national pick-up your room organization. Pay attention to ques that children give in wanting to participate. Most children want the pat on the back and attention for helping, which is the best award system between adults and children.

The first sign of wanting to participate in cooking, cleaning, washing hands, pouring a glass of milk, vacuuming, washing the dog, whatever it may be that the child is attempting to help with, the attempt needs to be recognized. With the amount of pressure adults put on themselves in perfect parenting that society has loaded on shoulders it can be difficult to allow messes to happen while cleaning the mess. Basically, the dog may make a larger mess with the child attempting to help clean the mess but in time and patience that allowable mess will turn in an instilled skill for the child. Children want to participate, not make the mess larger therefore adults, if willing, can create a continuous learning environment through letting their children participate in chores.

What can a child help with and what should they not help with?

There are limits of for safety purposes that a child is not authorized to participate in such as using household cleaners, sharp objects, machinery such as lawn mowers, and other appliance maintenance. Caution and a little common sense can go a long way with allowing the child to participate.

Taking out the trash is just as traditional in attempting to get children to do in America as far back as possibly the invention of apple pie. How to get the child to help with the trash? Early in the morning my husband takes the loaded cans out to the curb and after school my ten year old brings the empty cans back to the garage. The system eliminated the argument of the cans being gross or too heavy and gets him to participate. No bribery, just a big thank you and I appreciate you.

My three year old also wants to pitch in and help with chores. A very responsible three who does not put objects in her mouth is allowed to help with washing inside windows, which is only recommended based on the mouthing stage that the child is at. She loves to draw pictures with the steam she huffs on the window and afterward she gets to play some more with helping in cleaning it up. A word of caution, windows can be potentially dangerous for children to play around with many not having knowledge of lead paint in the homes window sills are prime areas that chipped paint could be lurking. There are many other activities that she is able to pitch in with such as throwing her food away that she does not finish at dinner, putting her own plate in the dishwasher, brushing her own teeth after I have brushed them for her, and again with caution with allowing children at young ages to play near faucets without adult supervision water can severely burn young skin. Another favorite activity is vacuuming the living room. She has many favorite activities that reflect me such as washing her tea set after her party.

With a little patients habits of chores becomes responsibilities that are part of a child's character of being responsible. Watching the signs of wanting to help and try to not discourage the desire will turn your uncoordinated mess maker into a responsible person that knows how to help take care of themselves.

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