by Marsupial

Created on: May 27, 2008

Show me a man who comes home bursting to talk about his day, immediately adjusts annoying habits or even stops to ask for directions, and I'll show you a woman who doesn't nag. Are all women nags? No. Are all men just asking to be nagged? No.

Sometimes, the difference is simply in our chemistry. Women first need to recognize that their men are not their girlfriends with whom they enjoy chit-chatting and to whom they can vent. More often than not, a man will have fewer words in any given conversation and he will look to be helpful with advice when presented with a venting woman. If women stopped to realize they were looking passed a wealth of solutions on the subject of their vent-session, they might actually be pleased by the outcome. Likewise, if men realized all that was required of them was a head-nod and a phrase or two of understanding ("I'm sorry you've had a rough day" or "I hate when that happens!"), they too might actually be relieved of the urge to solve.

The chemistry of men and women aside, another reason for nagging may have to do with timing. A man will stop and ask for directions... eventually. A daddy will probably put his kids to bed if he sees them wandering the halls at midnight. Some women simply need the items on their lists checked off sooner than later. Some men are satisfied to wait until their women ask. In the woman's eyes, however, it's too late. He hasn't lent a hand and she's already dreading the request which will no doubt be interrupting a treasured moment in a sports game or on the computer.

Chemistry and timing are almost forgivable explanations for nagging; but what about the woman who consistently nags a perfectly good man? How easy it would be for him to leave all of his responsibilities at her feet. After all, she's a great alarm clock. He's never late to a meeting and has given up all anxieties about such things. She is two steps ahead of him at every moment. But, this is the time to be concerned. For, the man has now slipped into a comfort zone that not only affects his homelife, but may affect his contributions at work or in his community. He may very well shut down. Depression may set in, not to mention resentment. Nagging is indeed one of the silent killers of marriage.

Not all women are nags and not all men require nagging. But in the happiest of marriages, you won't find either one.

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