by Elle b. Mohamed

Created on: May 27, 2008

Does it feel good to be angry? Yelling and screaming; getting it off your chest. Does it feel good? Does it feel good to be scary, loud, and feared? Does it feel good to be heard when you're red in the face and teary in the eye?

But you're really not heard, and your throat hurts, and your eyes swell, and you wonder, if I am yelling so loud, why does it feel like no one can hear me? And then it doesn't feel so good anymore. And when the day comes to an end, you feel immense regret: I shouldn't have said this. I should have done that. Why didn't I stay? Why don't they understand? I am right! Right?

But no one likes the feeling of regret.

Islam warns against anger in numerous accounts related to us by the companions of the Prophet Muhammad. In one such account related by Al Bukhari, a prominent and recognized collector of authentic prophetic traditions, a man came to the Prophet and asked for counsel. The Prophet replied, "Do not become angry." Upon repeating the question several times, the Prophet replied with the same reply.

But people get angry.

The Prophet, though he counseled his companions against becoming angry, was not unaware that bouts of anger do occur. Knowing this, he provided advice for controlling one's anger. As reported by Ahmad and Tirmidhi, also prominent collectors of authentic prophetic traditions, the Prophet Muhammad advised: "When one of you becomes angry while standing he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down."

But what is the logic in changing positions?

According to Al-'Allaamah al-Khattaabi, in his commentary on the above prophetic tradition regarding the changing of positions, "[o]ne who is standing is in a position to strike and destroy, while the one who is sitting is less likely to do that, and the one who is lying down can do neither. It is possible that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) told the angry person to sit down or lie down so that he would not do something that he would later regret. And Allah knows best."

According to al-Khattaabi, this advice protects against physical abuse. As for verbal abuse, and the regret suffered after it is launched,Islam advises man with the ancient advice of silence: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent" (reported by Ahmad).

But sometimes you just can't take it.

In that case, Islam gives a Muslim a maximum of three days of anger,expressed in the form of silence, against the other party. It was narrated by the companion of the Prophet, Abu Ayyub, that the Prophet Muhammad said, "It is not lawful for anyone to cut himself off from his Muslim brother for more than three nights so that when they meet, one of them turns his face away in avoidance and the other one turns his face away as well." To encourage reconciliation, he continued by mentioning that the "better of them is the one who initiates the greeting."

In summary, when angry, Islam advises one to sit or lie down, to remain silent, and,if the situation were to go too far,then it's all right to be angry, just don't let it flow for more than three days. On day three, when you have calmed down and collected your thoughts, go ahead and be the better person: say hi to your brother.

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