by sylvia guinan salis

Created on: May 26, 2008   Last Updated: March 08, 2011

Welcome to the wonderful world of multiples and mayhem. Some of you may be feeling overwhelmed, and others ecstatic at the thoughts of parenting multiples. Brace yourselves for the roller coaster of emotions you will experience, as you travel this turbulent route through parenthood. Here are some signposts to guide you on your way, lovingly shared by one hardy, feisty mom, straight from the trenches.

Forearmed is forewarned

Arm yourself with knowledge. Get books about birth, babies and toddlers. They will be a revelation and boost your confidence as an expectant mom.

There are also wonderful parenting magazines for multiples, and websites dedicated to the mothering of multiples. Such a rich abundance of resources will leave you revved up, clued up and raring to go!

Breastfeeding

One great way to stay positive if you have preemie babies in neonatal care is to empower yourself by providing breast milk, which helps to prevent many conditions affecting premature babies.

Even if your babies have to stay one or two months in hospital, it is still possible to express breast milk till you eventually take the little ones home.

You can rent a double, electric breast pump and prevent engorgement by lining your bra with cabbage leaves to keep the breasts soft.

Routine, routine, routine

Once home, a routine will be indispensable. Even if you had never been much for routines before the twins, now they will be your life- line.

Colic and teething pains are the greatest disturbers of sleep and routines. Trying to force sleep on a baby writhing in pain is a recipe for disaster. Consult your doctor for advice in these situations. Otherwise slings are great comforters when babies need extra coddling.

Who wears the trousers?

Twins and multiples have a great way of upsetting rigid gender roles that may exist within the family. Suddenly, Daddy has to pitch in more around the house. The active involvement of Dad deepens the bonding process and prevents power struggles or alienation in the relationship.

Accept help on your own terms

Be grateful as friends and family rally round to help, and dispense with any illogical notions of being the Super Mom Lone Ranger.

Be assertive and delegate duties. Having someone take care of time consuming chores or fix you some nutritious snacks and drinks are good ideas.

Oh no! They're crawling

It's unpractical and dangerous to have multiples crawling off in different directions. Try purchasing safety gates that can section off part of a room and still let them crawl and play.

If it proves beyond your budget, you can collect large cardboard boxes, decorate them with cute wrapping paper, fill them with toys and place them strategically like a wall around the babies, forming a fun filled barrier.

From talking tots to school kids.

Be sure to give each child some individual attention to avoid sibling rivalry.

When they start school, talk to their teacher about the individuality of each child, especially if they are identical.

Make it clear that you won't tolerate unfair comparisons being drawn between them.

When times are tough, just sit back and "look into the eyes of love and know that you belong"(Kermit the frog, Muppet Christmas).

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