by Laura Hageman

Created on: May 26, 2008   Last Updated: June 19, 2008

Death is something that adults have a hard time dealing with. Children have a harder time dealing with death simply because they have a harder time understanding why it happened. For a child to cope with a death of a sibling or parent can be absolutely devastating and more than anything will need a stable adult figure to help them through the process.

Be sure to always explain to the child that this is natural part of life. Sometimes death comes without a warning when other times it does as people go through illnesses. However, it is something we will need to learn how to cope. Make sure that the explanation is as age appropriate as possible. A five year-old will not comprehend as well as a teenager on how death is a part of life.

Keep an open communication with the child. If they get upset when they think about the person that died let them know they can come to you to talk about it. If they have any questions assure them they can ask you.

Make your presence known to the child. Let them know that you will be there for them no matter what. Give them stability and safety at a time they so desperately need it.

Allow them freedom of expression. If they feel the need to say random things or off the wall comments about the person that died do not criticize them. Allow them to burst out with words of anger or sadness. This will help them deal with their pain.

If the child is of a young age maybe having them give their own special ceremony for the person who died would help them accept what has happened and come to terms with it. You can ask for the remaining family members to be there and say a prayer and possibly set free several helium balloons. Children seem to grasp the idea of setting free a person's spirit in relation to balloons.

Embark on the spiritual side of the issue. Depending on the age of the child will also depend on how this is explained. Introduce or reiterate your religious beliefs of God. Allow the child to understand that once we pass on we go to a better place where we all meet up with each other again.

Helping a child deal with death is a tough issue to tackle. It isn't easy and many children have different ways of dealing with it. Never tell them that they shouldn't feel a certain way or be upset or angry over the death. They have the right to feel what they are feeling and it is best that they express it. When a child decides to not say anything about their feelings of the recent death of a loved one that is when you may need to seek professional help. They must be able to speak of how they feel otherwise it could be severely damaging to the child.

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