by Dawn Pikey-Borgmann

Created on: May 26, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

There are so many different struggles involved in being a single parent. I have found that each one requires a different approach. There are several that stand out to me as I look back on the last 2 years. There are two significant situations that were definitely the hardest for me to handle.

My divorce took place just a little over 2 years ago. My oldest child was no more than 4 years old and he was well aware of the changes that were taking place in his life. The horrible guilt I had for moving so far away from his dad was overwhelming. Although it was only 3 hours by car, I felt as though I was taking away the ability for his father to share in the many accomplishments that he would make in just the first few years. He would be starting school soon and getting involved in T-Ball. I had to ask myself more than once if I was doing the right thing. I knew that I had no choice in the move. I needed to be close to my family. Single parenting was as new to me as being a parent itself. I new I couldn't do it alone. What I didn't know was how much I was going to need my family in the year to come.

At first my kids were both fine with the new city and its atmosphere. It was later, when my oldest realized that even though daddy's job kept him away from home, he woud only be able to see dad when he had more than one day off in a week. I knew that his dad was not capable of compromise or prioritizing so I was certain I was on my way to parental meltdown. as parents we did the best we could to make things work for our children. Although I must say that I did most of the giving. I couldn't explain to him enough that paying child support on time was a good thing, but our boy's are young and they need their dad to. Expressing that I could not compensate for his presence by purchasing material items and telling them that are from dad.

In September of 2007 my oldest started Kindergarten and things seem to get worse. He would act out and become angry when other children spoke of their fathers. He would lash out at me for no reason. I was already aware that he expressed the anger at me as a way to vent. I had been told time and time again that children are meanest to the people that they know will not leave me. As unfair as that is I took it and only showed more love for every hateful word. I bared this for him and would continue for as long as it took for him to know that I love him unconditionally.

By November of the same year my world had turned upside down. Cancer. A single

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