by Joy Solomon

Created on: May 26, 2008   Last Updated: March 06, 2010

Trust must be present in any relationship before they can be true intimacy. Trust must first come from within,it is an internal virtue that emanates outward.

Behavior can mislead ,but the internal virtues of being faithful, caring, honest, dependable and loyal are the bedrocks of trust.

Trust is not a virtue that is automatically present in a relationship rather, it is quality developed gradually over time.

Trust must be nurtured. In the secret of loving, Josh Macdowell writes, "I believe trustworthiness which is simply a reflection of what we are like deep down inside and what we have proved ourselves to be. It takes a lot of time to build this quality into our character."

As good friends we are proven trustworthy over time by choosing to be faithful, caring, honest, dependable and loyal.

Each day we are faced with thousands of choices most of which are small ones that seem insignificant. However, sometimes we make the kinds of choices, most of which are small ones that seem insignificant. However ,sometimes we make the kinds of choices that lead to the question, who would know if I did something I think none will see? Ironically,the answer to the question is often that many people will know.

All our small choices help determine our character-what we are like deep down inside and none of us can hide his/her character for long whether good or bad.

Give enough time, people read us fairly accurately, discovering almost unerringly, who we are ,then we wonder why people sometimes respond to us differently then we expect them to. It is because they have read our characters and have concluded how much or how little they can trust us.

When people don't trust us they probably won't tell us to our faces, but their action will reveal it.

We have all the power to change all that, no matter what our reputation would be. We can choose to repair any breaches of trust among old friends and build up new levels of trust among others. We must do that if we want to develop intimate friendship with others.

Intimacy involves vulnerability and the risk of allowing friends of a glimpse at the inside of us. An Arabian proverb confirms this, "A friend is one to whom one mat pour out all the contents of ones heart,chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and shift it. Keep what is worth keeping and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."

I trust that you will have a long lasting faithful and trustful relationship.

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