by Happy writer

Created on: May 26, 2008   Last Updated: June 13, 2008

I am the mother of a 10 year old girl who is medically defined as mentally retarded. I am a prize fighter. The Muhammad Ali of the Disabled world. I am my daughters advocate because the one thing that I have learned is that only I truly have her best interest at heart. Here are my findings:

Tip# 1 The Special Education Department in your School District has a budget so will fight you tooth and nail so not to spend anymore money than necessary on your child. Make sure that her educational placement is appropriate but above all has no side effects like peers with severe behavioral problems. Only you know what's best for your child so do her the biggest favor and fight for her.

Tip # 2 Do not put all your hopes on therapy. By therapy I mean; Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy and speech ... The question is does therapy really work? I strongly feel that this is debatable. My daughter is developing, albeit very slowly. Yet how much of this is because of Therapy versus her natural evolution. Very hard to tell. In my Opinion What therapy does do is relieve the parents a little by sharing the work but it does not necessarily move your child's development along any faster than it would have had she not received therapy.

Tip# 3 Under no circumstance believe that doctors, Neurologists or anyone in the medical field knows best. It is rare today that a doctor gives you more time than he is billed for. One Neurologist we saw wanted to put my daughter on Ritalin after a 5 minutes consultation. I am not rebuking drugs but please make sure your doctor has you child's best interest at heart. There is money to be made so be careful. It is crucial to recognize that Doctors do not know everything, the fact remains that the brain is unknown territory so although the medical world can assume they absolutely cannot predict.

Tip# 4 Most of the literature available gives suggestions on how to enhance the development of your child with special needs, alluding to games or toys that can stimulate or precipitate him or her along. Those types of books give false hopes and make you feel that if you only do X amount of that with this particular gadget or method somehow things might change. Money is being made, save your pennies, you can now get the same wishy washy advice on the Internet.

Tip # 5 Be brutally honest about your situation. Unfortunately I have not yet come across a book or forum that truly represents the family life of those with a special needs child. The pressure. The stress.

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