by Raymond Alexander Kukkee

Created on: May 26, 2008   Last Updated: August 01, 2008

How Old, and How Interesting are you Anyway?

"Hello?"
"This is "Express Yourself"....an exclusive XTC Radio Daylight Poll, and the question for today is, " How interesting are you, on a scale of one to ten?"

"Is that a trick question?"

" No, it is a serious question, this is a real XTC poll from Rock and Roll 186.9 FM on your dial, and we're trying to find out how old, and how interesting you are so we can determine if there's any mathematical correlation between a person's age and how interesting they are, so..... how interesting do you think you are?"

"Will I be on television?"
"No, nobody will know who you are, we just want you to answer the question, that's all that is necessary, how interesting are you on the scale, one to ten, go for it."

"Okay, I m at least a ten, no, make that nine, is that too high?"

"Nine? Is that what you really want me to put down?"

"Oh, you mean it's not television? Ok, the radio, ...wait, wait, -are we on the air right now?"
"We no - does that make any difference? This is a poll for Rock and Roll, XTC, the radio station."

"I don't listen to rock and roll, I listen to R & B, and country and western, I never listen to rock and roll, it gives me a headache."

"There is no question on this poll about whether you like music even if you get a headache, sir, just answer the question, please, mister, could you please?"

" Do you actually get paid for this? ....Okay, okay, I'll say eight, I m an eight."

"This is a follow-up question.... Please answer Yes or No":
" If anyone challenges the rating you gave yourself, would you reduce your estimate and change the number?"
"Why? Well, ....Okay, I'm a seven."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, if you really insist, I'm a six, yes, probably a six."
"Well, sir, what would your wife say, what would your family and friends say if you told them you're a six, I mean, come on now, really,...?"

"Okay, I got it, I'm a five, maybe a four, you know, the more I think about it, maybe I'm a two, or a onewait, do you take negative numbers in this poll?"
"No sir, there's no place on the form to check, so I'll just put a "one", and just one more question, sir, how old are you anyway? We have to know how old you are."

"How old are you?"
"We're not allowed to answer questions, we just have to ask them."

"And how interesting are you?"

"I think...well, I make five bucks an hour, I had this job for two weeks, I live at my mom's and I work at the grocery store with my buddy Pete on Saturdays, I do good at school, I can sing and play the accordion, I

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