by Cindere11a

Created on: May 25, 2008   Last Updated: March 04, 2011

That's it!, I swore under my breath while running to the car and nearly tripping over a speed bump. I’ve had it!  No more blind dates!  How could a man be so rude, so uncouth, so...so...disgusting, especially on a first date?  In less than one hour, he’s managed to take bad manners and tackiness to a whole new level.  Emily Post would have a field day with this clown.

Chip (I should have known by the name this guy would have issues) contacted me on line via one of the more popular Internet dating sites. The Internet, it now seems, has become the in way to meet people. Gone are the days of chance encounters in the produce department, eyes locking across a crowded room, or crafty introductions by well-intentioned friends. Nope. Just a few simple clicks of the mouse, and poof! you’ve got a date.

Following several rounds of email interrogation and the mandatory photo exchange, Chip and I agreed to meet for a quick cup of coffee on Saturday morning.  With over ten years of toad kissing under my belt, I’ve come to the conclusion that a simple first date proves to be the least painful. And while the proverbial coffee date works well, my preferred choice is the Drive By. My date-to-be stands on a nearby street corner and I drive by and stop if interested. Sadly, no one has yet to find my suggestion palatable or amusing.

The next morning Chip emailed to say he would like to invite his buddy, Harold, to join us and wanted to make sure I didn't mind.  Unusual request for a first date, but since the odds were definitely in my favor I encouraged Chip to bring his friend along.

Saturday turned out to be a nice sunny day - perfect weather for black Capri pants and my new cotton pullover.  Grabbing my car keys and favorite black Jackie O sunglasses, I did a quick turn in the mirror and felt coffee-date passable. 

Parking was a breeze and as I approached Java Jakes I spotted Chip and Harold sitting at an outdoor table near a trash can. Not exactly prime seating, I grumbled disapprovingly, unaware that in mere minutes the obscure location would prove to be a blessing in disguise.

To my dismay, Chip did not bear much of a likeness to the athletic, good looking man portrayed in his photos. He was tall with thinning grey hair and as skinny as a beanpole. Oh well, I sighed, trying to look at the bright side, at least he has hair and summoned up a smile as Chip stood to greet me.  Polite introductions were made and

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