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Just a mistake waiting to happen,
I was conceived in the heat of passion.
I don't know why I came to this earth,
Or why I was even given birth.

I'm just a kid going through some serious things,
No matter what kind of out come it brings,
I have a raging in my two minds,
One is for evil and the other is for kind.

The evil seems more like it's winning out,
Because of the things I do and bring about.

I'm hurting and racking in pain,
And I have brought my family a lot of shame.

I've been put out of schools for one thing or another,
I have brought a lot of pain and heartache to my mother.
I don't know why I act out this way,
Maybe it's because I forget to pray.

I know what my mom expects of me,
But I seem to do what I well please,
The things I watch to comfort me,
Are porno-flicks on MTV.

I know it's not normal for me to do this,
Because these are not female flicks.
When asked a lot of questions,
I speak without any hesitation.

I say yes, because that is what they want to hear,
I don't worry about the consequences nor do I fear.
For you see I was a mistake from the beginning,
And I don't know what will be my ending.

I don't want to live in this body of mine,
I want to be free from this evil mime.
Satan had me bound doing his beckon will,
I tried to let the Lord come in and rid me of this swill.

Lord it doesn't seem like I'm going to win,
I might as well give up and give in.
My mother has turned me over to You,
Can you change my thoughts and attitude?

What will You do to make that change come about?
I hope it is soon before Your Son comes with a shout.
You know what is truly in my heart,
I know You can tell me where to start.

What must I do Lord to be saved?
Will I have to go to an early grave?
I don't even know what to do,
So I surrender my will and my ways to You.

Learn more about this author, Olive Lewis.
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