by MJ Sharpe

Created on: May 25, 2008

There actually are quite a number of reasons why true love is hard to find and "the" main reason rests with who's looking.
Many people are so completely obsessed with the pursuit of false euphoria that they deny or try to deny the existence of areas within themselves that require their love and attention. Love is not a false euphoria, although many definitions of love show as such. When a person searches for love with preconceived ideas based on misconceptions its no wonder true love isn't found; the search for it may even be near impossible.

Often heard is the axiom, "you can't love anyone else until you've learned to love yourself." Of some seeking true love the difficulties associated with their life experiences have not afforded the opportunity to know love for self. They seek true love just the same. They search endlessly hoping that at some point, someone, anyone, somewhere will appreciate and love them. This in any terms is nothing more than a game and the seeker becomes the loser.

No one wants to be alone, although you will hear more than enough the pronouncement, "just leave me alone." Human beings want to feel loved. They want the experience of sharing themselves with someone else. They also want someone there to listen to their woes, to encourage their development, applaud their accomplishments and (in this economic climate) someone to share expenses. . Some even believe- without regards for their own views- that to be in love rewards them with acceptance by someone else whose opinion matters. Some others look for commonality (compatibility) as a rule in finding true love. Others still, compare their horoscope, consult the tarot, seek out psychics to steer them in the direction of true love. So why is it hard to find true love when what is wanted seems clear; again who's looking?

To love self first means there is a commitment to self and ones life plan. The plan created to gage achieving the aspirations dreamed of and pondered. To achieve an aim there is first a plan. Any man or woman seeking a true love should have by now contemplated realistically whom they seek. Believe it or not there are many who never gave it thought other than, "I want, I want, I want to find somebody to love." Proceeding in the search without an examination of self first may be the gravest mistake on the path to finding true love.

In commitment to self there must have been some assessment of the capacities for love. For example, being honest with self appears as honesty to someone else. True love is honesty when sharing with another. Confidence in self appears as self assuredness to someone else. True love is confidence in oneself. Viewed from a common sense standpoint what is given as true love must first be generated from the soul, that part of us that dictates how we truly are and displays it to the world through our behavior. After assessing self one may discover its not true love they seek rather someone to intermingle with or hangout with. In some cases the search is for a name to offer so to avoid the laughter of friends or a body to show off as a prize won.
Assuredly when we talk of true love and why it's so hard to find; search the seeker.

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