by feathers

Created on: May 25, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

How often I have avoided the camera at parties and gatherings, or offered to take the photo rather than be in it. Rather than be reminded, one more time, of what I look like. How often my gaze has skipped away from seeing my reflection in the glass fronts of shops or those big, shiny mirrors in public rest rooms. How often I have been confused, glancing up at the screen of a CCTV and wondered who that fat lady was that had a handbag exactly like mine, and dressed in the same oh. That IS me. How often I have come home and put on some gorgeous looking thing that I discovered at the shop, on special, what a bonus! Only to find that it doesn't fit, but I never tried it on at the shop because I hate those fitting rooms. They're too small, they're too public, and they're full of mirrors. Three full walls of mirror, sometimes four. As if I'm going into that.

How often I have hated myself.

Of course there is nobody to blame but me. Nobody's held a gun to my head and forced me to eat one more helping, one more chocolate, one more fattening whatever. And I know the true secret to weightloss, it's simple as anything: just make sure that there are more calories going out (metabolism, exercise, whatever) than there are coming in. That's it. Too easy. No pills needed.

Thing is, weight is a whole lot more than just numbers. Weight is the battle between food and exercise, between fundamental needs, and food isn't just about calories consumed.

Go to a family gathering and see how easy it is to just consume the calories you need for the day. What? You're not having any of Aunty Brenda's lasagne? But she made it specially! Cousin Rory's brought along half a dozen bottles of very fine red, and your sister in law has been exploring the wonders of Lebanese cookery. How can you resist? Now, since you're all together because it's your mother's birthday, you will be disowned from the entire family if you don't share in a piece of birthday cake. Go on! Don't be mean. Of course you can't say no. That would be like saying you don't wish your own mother a happy birthday.

And so on.

Of course social gatherings are not the only times fraught with food anxieties for those of us who have weight issues. Feeling happy? Celebrate by going out. Feeling miserable? Treat yourself to food: chocolate is good, everyone knows it's got, uh, stuff in it to raise your serotonin. Mad at someone? Go eat! (That'll teach 'em!)

Food is easy. Undemanding and without judging you, food will make you feel great inside.

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