by Nan Einarson

Created on: May 25, 2008   Last Updated: June 13, 2008

Parents must involve themselves in their children's school lives. Our schools and children must know that we (parents) are their partners regarding our kids' education. Conversely, both must know that we (parents) can/will advocate for our children if/when there are problems and issues related to school. Today, parents walk a fine line between support for the school system and teachers, and support for our children's rights and perspectives.

Our school systems and teachers operate in the best interests of our children collectively. There is little policy/interest in serving the best interests of our children individually. Rather than meet the needs of the child, our school systems prefer to bend the child to meet the needs of the system. It is the parents' role to negotiate a compromise between the two.

In my day, "teachers knew best and were always right". Discipline and punishments were delivered accordingly. Even our parents were afraid to challenge teachers and the school system, because in their day "children were seen and not heard".

Today's parents encourage children to be independent thinkers and to make appropriate choices based on consequences. Children are taught creativity and to think "outside the box". As such, they do not blindly accept everything they are told - they question, study, examine alternatives, and establish their own conclusions.

Our children face similar difficulties that we experienced in school - homework, bullies, friendships, summer help, etc. The difference today is that children as young as 5 and 6 are now getting homework, bullies are armed with weapons or their gangs, friendships are often gang-related (who you know versus who you like), and summer tutorial help is often costly and rarely affordable to those who need it most.

Today's parents can best help their children by:
1. Demonstrating respect for the school system, teachers and principals and demanding
respectful behaviour from children ;
2. Keeping up-dated on school policies and events (via communications through kids and/or
direct contact with school);
3. Regularly attending Parent/Teacher meetings and other school functions;
4. Contacting children's teachers via note or phone,to stay up-dated about children's
status;
5. Demonstrating an interest in children's school days and encouraging daily conversations
about learning and/or problems;
6. Working with the school as needed, to overcome children's difficulties;
7. Working with your children against the school, if necessary, to advocate for children's
position and/or rights and to ensure their safety, happiness and self-esteem;
8. Connecting regularly with other parents regarding school-related issues;
9. Staying open-minded and objective (willing to hear others' perspectives);
10. Making decisions and taking actions only after thoughtful analysis of each situation.

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