by Tammy Wright

Created on: May 24, 2008   Last Updated: June 13, 2008

When you have a child with special needs you will get advice from to many places. It can be very scary and lonely if you allow it to be. I suggest you speak honestly to your Doctor, ask for any information, advice or other professionals they can recommend for you. The more educated you are regarding your child's needs the better prepared you will be. I have had many different experiences with working with and having children with special needs. One of the best tips I can give you is to be patient and take your child as themselves. Do not set overly high goals or demands that they can not achieve. Don't be an over protective parent that closes your child away from the world. Each child can achieve what they want to. It maybe something as simple as feeding themselves or as hard as algebra, which I am personally still working on.

Do try different tactics and find what works best for you, but more importantly what will help your child the best. For me as a parent of two children with special needs, I have found that what works for one does not help the other. We have learned to allow time for my youngest to complete task. He has a hard time concentrating on one certain task for a long time which often times leaves his chores and school work incomplete. I have learned to remind him, compliment him for his efforts and reward him on occasion for completing all of his school work regardless of the grade he received.
I encourage my children to try new activities and make sure they get to participate in all non school activities that they can. Socializing can be hard on anyone, and you need to reassure your child at each step of the way. Giving them several outlets to socialize in such as church, school and play dates will give them some opportunities. You may also want to check online for groups for parents who have children with similar needs. These groups often times have group activities and events. Joining one of these groups not only gives your child opportunities but will give you other parents to bounce issues and problems off of, getting advice from people who have actually been in your shoes. You may also find that you can help others with your own experiences.
With my children we found school to be a very good and bad place. From working with children of special needs I did have a little knowledge that other parents may not know of. When your child attends a public and often times a private school there are programs and resource teachers that can help your child. I would recommend you ask your school if they offer some type of IEP (Independent Education Plan) that your child may qualify for. My daughters IEP has helped her immensely, they allow her to have extra time on test and have helped her get through tough times in classes where the teacher did not have time or want to take the time to explain the subject matter better. You may also find that alternatives to the regular school system might work best for your child, but this is something that you will have to decide.
Having a child with special needs can be hard and stressful at times. I will stress that you need to research as much as you can. Find someone or a group that you can talk with when you are overwhelmed. The last thing you will want to do is pass any frustrations you have on to your child.

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