by DyAnna Robbnsun

Created on: May 24, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

My top five struggles as a single parent were finances, daycare, and time to my self, positive male influences for my son and fighting off the vultures. I'm sure there were more but these are the ones that seem to stick out most for me.

Fortunately, I had a good job when I got divorced. We hadn't been married long enough to have a lot of bills so I didn't have that hanging over my head. However, by the time you pay rent, daycare, a car payment, utilities and the basic essentials like food and clothing, there isn't much left. And my ex-husband didn't pay his child support for the first few years after we split up. I was determined to make it on my own and I never once applied for any assistance from the state. Things were tight for a while, but we were blessed to make it until I got raises. There were also gifts and money that the grandparents provided. I thank God for my in-laws. They were more than willing to help whenever I asked. I tried not to ask too often but it was nice to know that if I really needed to I could.

The daycare business has got to be a racket. Someone somewhere is making a killing on what they charge to watch our children. Not just what they charge, but how they run their programs. Time is of the essence. You have to drop your kids off at a certain time and you'd better not be late picking them up. I must admit, I've never paid a late fee for daycare. Not that I wasn't in a situation where I might have to, but again thank God for family and friends who were willing to step in and lend a helping hand. My son was in church run day care programs for most of his young life. While you might expect that this would be the best place for your child, it had its ups and downs. Never the less, I think it was a good choice for me and alleviated some issues that I've seen other single parents go through with their day care situations.

Initially I felt guilty about wanting, yes, and needing time to myself. I don't know where I got the idea that I had to spend all my time with my son or something bad would happen. A wise woman from my church came around me and provided me with plenty of time to be by myself. Even if I didn't do anything but just sit at home alone and stare at the four walls, it was time I had to do whatever I wanted. The good thing about it too was that she and I lived in the same apartment complex. I lived on the third floor and she lived on the second floor. I could see her patio from my patio. She and my son enjoyed many afternoons of

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