by Terri Combs-Orme Ph.D.

Created on: May 24, 2008   Last Updated: June 13, 2008

Raising Children with Special Needs

Of all the challenges involved in rearing a special-needs child, dealing with teachers and school personnel may be the most challenging. School personnel are over-worked, under-resourced, and have many children's needs to consider. How can you assure that your child's needs are met?

1. Know your rights.

The Individuals with Disabilities Act (IDEA) entitles your child to a free appropriate public education. The school system is obligated to provide you with a copy of the legislation, but the language is obtuse and confusing. There are a number of good websites for this information, such as http://www.kidstogether.org. Your state education department also can help.

Some of your most important rights include the right to call a meeting of your child's teachers and other key personnel about her progress and the right to consent (or not) to her Individualized Education Plan (IEP). You also must consent to any evaluation or testing that is performed.

2. Be respectful, but firm, with teachers and school personnel.

Parents who are not confident in their knowledge, or who feel intimidated by school personnel may be reluctant to be authoritative in their interactions with the school. Start off by clarifying details: What are the services being offered? What available services are not being offered to your child? Why?

If you still do not get satisfactory answers, notch your responses up a bit, and use the "broken record" technique. For example, "Yes, I understand that you have many children to serve. Please explain again why my daughter is not receiving this service."

Finally, if you feel that you are not being respected or heard, it is appropriate to be more forceful. Smile, hold your head up and speak clearly. Suggest that perhaps you should speak with someone "downtown" or on the School Board.

3. Don't "watch and wait" too long.

Resist the tendency to "watch and wait" to be sure that your child is really having trouble with memory or task completion. Some problems solidify and become extremely difficult to treat if ignored too long. Accurate data are important, but children's development does not wait for a clear answer.

4. Express gratitude.

Finally, it is true that school personnel do have a lot of work to do and many children's needs to consider. Acknowledge their work with your child verbally and with cards and volunteering.

Learn more about this author, Terri Combs-Orme Ph.D..
Click here to send this author comments or questions.