by Laura Massa

Created on: May 24, 2008   Last Updated: November 20, 2011

Valentine's Day is almost here, and you can feel the sense of panic welling inside of you. It is bad enough you aren't in a relationship, what if you don't have a date? You are feeling certain that the day will be spent with no flowers, phone calls, or romantic dinner. Fact is, you will most likely be spending the evening alone, again. WAIT! Don't let the social stigma of being alone keep you from passing by the perfect opportunity!

Here is your first lesson in empowering yourself:

Plan to get yourself pampered. A haircut, manicure and new outfit, all do wonders to our self esteem. More important than attracting a partner, caring for ourselves and our image makes us feel more confident- and confidence overcomes fear. Fear makes us vulnerable to depression- confidence creates happiness! It is important to remember that when we are happier with ourselves, we become more relaxed about being single. A relationship should only be the icing on the cake, so learn how to make a great cake, and then worry about the icing.

Go out! Go out ALONE! Single guys go out on Valentine's Day, they don't care about being seen alone, and they will be intrigued by your confidence and poise if you come in and treat YOURSELF to a drink. I have sat at a bar, with a paper and a glass of wine. Between reading, watching TV, and sipping wine, it's fun to listen to other people's conversations, and you can't do that when you are our with others. Be the sultry, single, independent woman, out by herself on Valentine's Day, eating a desert while coolly enjoying her solitude-it is a wonderful feeling.

Put the cell phone away. It looks pathologically needy. I find myself actually embarrassed for women who go out and can't put their phone down.
Remember it's about you. This is your chance to overcome your own feelings of insecurity in being out alone. It really isn't about meeting "the one". It is being your own best friend. I can assure you that people really don't feel sorry for you when they see you alone. They only feel sorry for you when you show distress in aloneness. Sadly, independence has become such a rarity that people are quite struck by the occasional poised single woman who can tolerate her own company.

This Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity for you to fly in the face of social stigma, rise above your insecurity, face your fear of singleness, and value the person that you are. Make it the day you strive to become a stronger, independent person. Empower yourself.
Happy Valentines Day!

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