by Lolita Townsend

Created on: May 23, 2008

I recall the way the room looked as I walked in. Books were scattered about and there were papers strewn across the sofa. I didn't recall ever seeing the apartment this way before and I had visited my best friend many times in her home. She and I were very close, like sisters, and had been since we met. She was like family to me from day one and so were her children.

It seemed strange to me that she would have things so scattered, she always had some clutter and a lot of plants, but this was different. It just felt different, as if she was upset or maybe she was frantically looking for something. She seemed so different today, angry in her mannerism. I thought maybe she was angry with me so I asked her, "Jasmine, did I do something to upset you? Is there something I can do to help?"

She didn't respond for a moment or two but kept right on tossing things about. I knew she must be upset with me but could not recall doing anything that may have upset her. She had actually been gone most of the week with her boyfriend out of town.

Jasmine had only been this way one other time that I could recall and it was directed toward her cousin not me at that time. Her daughter had called me and said, "Can you please help me, my mom won't get out of bed and she is saying to leave her alone so she can die." I of course rushed to the apartment. I couldn't believe she was saying those things to her daughter but I knew that she struggled with depression for many years prior.

Now I wondered is this what is running through her mind. I stood there in silence and scanned the room with my eyes looking for any clue as to what had happened since she had returned from her trip or any sign as to what was going on that might cause her to feel this way. I also looked for signs that would clue me in if it was depression at all or if she was just angry about something.

I noticed on the coffee table and on the floor next to it were medication bottles, several were there. She had been on several medications for different things as long as I had known her and she often kept the empty bottles to store small stones and beads in. She used them for storing seeds for planting as well. She loved gardening. Though the bottles caught my attention; it didn't seem at all abnormal. She had some luggage from her trip lying on the floor near the rocking chair and since she had only been back for two days that didn't seem all that strange to me either.

As I was scanning the room her daughter returned from school

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